The following material was taken from emails and remembrances exchanged by family members about Amy. As you will see, these exchanges were done without much regard for grammar, spelling or punctuation. In our defense we can only say that this was a very trying time for each of us. The material begins on 9 February 2011 and ends 28 March 2011 the day after her funeral.

Laron, February 9

Rick left for Iraq early that morning. We arrived in time to take Amy to a 2:00pm appointment with Dr. Badger in Orem.

Dr Badger told Amy that she still needed to have the Remodulin for her lungs and they needed to put a Hickman line in it could be infused through her heart instead of through her arms. I was very impressed with the poise she showed as she was given this information.

Dr Badger's PA, Kevin, showed great concern for Amy and her feelings. He promised her that he would do all he could for her and wouldn't let her die.

On the way home we stopped at Porter's Place in Lehi and ate hamburgers. We talked about Porter Rockwell and his activities in the Church. I had given Amy a history of the kings and queens of the British Isles and she asked us about the early British history. We were there for about an hour conversing.

When we got near Eagle Mountain, Amy told us that Jim and Cindy were hoping to buy a home out there. She wished that Rick could work at home like Jim is. She said Jim was probably the smartest person she knew. For a few moments we discussed the relative intelligence of the Bros. Sorry Rick, you came out on the bottom.

Ruth and I returned to Heyburn that night and planned to go back when she had the procedure, which was scheduled for Friday, February 11.

Ruth, February 10

Dear Ones, Amy just called and her procedure has been moved from tomorrow to Thursday morning of next week at 7:00. She is feeling better today, as her liver seems to be clearing up, and the nausea she has had seems to have gone away. Her needle into her arm had to be changed last night. Sariah is getting pretty good at doing this, but now Amy's new arm (she has three now) will be really sore for a few days. That's the latest!
love, MOM

Amy, February 12

Hello to all,

I know you are all sick to death of hearing about my problems. So am I, now that I think about it.

Anyway, this disease sure consumes my life. I like it really, it is such fun to see what will happen next.

So on Thursday I get to have the Hickman line put in. I can't wait to see how it will look, and to be able to match my clothes and jewelry to it. I hope the outer facade comes in different colors that I can change in and out. I better stop now, or next thing you know Dad will be wanting one.

Truly though, I am so grateful for modern medicine. They only came out with real treatments for this in 1995. I am so glad I was diagnosed after that. I am also grateful to family members willing to offer a lobe of their lungs! What a sacrifice. I can hardly type through my tears. You guys mean so much to me. Thank you. I think Megan offered me both of her lungs once, but then mumbled something that sounded like, but you will have to catch me first.

Ethan, that baby is so lovable. You guys are so lucky to have her. It sure cheers me up to see pics of all the little sweet baby faces in this family.

I am still quite sick, and have spent all day in bed. I am sure I will feel better tomorrow.

I love you,
Love Amy

Ruth, February 12

Dear Ones,

I read there was a 2.5 earthquake in Lehi last night. The epicenter was about four miles west of Lehi, which caused some folks to feel shaking and to hear booms. I wonder if Amy's family felt it...probably too far away. Dad and I are going to go to Amy's Wed. night, as she has to be at the hospital at 7:00 Thursday morning.

Ethan has been reading up on living organ donors, and how two healthy people can each give a lung to another as a transplant, rather than the ill person being put on a long list of recipients waiting for somebody to die, in order to get a transplant.

He thinks that his lungs are probably very healthy as he runs twenty-five miles every week, and says he will offer Amy one of his. Dad and I also will do this. I told Amy, that because we have kept the Word of Wisdom, our lungs might be seventy years old, but are in better shape than hers. We guessed that others of the family might consider the same sacrifice, and that there might be as many as twelve extra lungs out there for her, but what in the world would she do with twelve extra lungs?

We were very touched at Ethan's offer, and know he sincerely means it. He knows a Marine who gave a lung to his mother, and can still run, alrough he runs more slowly. I also told Amy about a program I watched about a new procedure being developed called organ scaffolding, where an animal heart has all the protein substance removed, leaving a white, skeleton sort of frame, onto which a person's own cells are planted, which then grow into the shape of the organ, and actually become that person's organ, such as a heart. The hear twould then implanted into the person, started, and because it is their own cells, there is no rejection. The person wouldn't have to be on immuno-suppressing meds, as the body accepts it as it's own. It is an amazing process, still being worked on, but possibly not way too far down the road. Google it and learn about it.

I just got a call asking me to teach the RS lesson tomorrow, so need to read through that. Remember Gene Taylor, Vearl's and Saundra's son? Dad's been working on their computers, and teaching them how to do things. they want to learn how to put music and pix together. Gene is visiting, and came over to have Dad show them how to do something. I showed them the Tribute to Ethan, that Dad and Amy put together with Ethan's military pix, to show what can be done. I hadn't watched it for awhile, and suggest that you guys watch it again by going to his family site. By the by, we surely need to get many of those updated.

Still working on getting Ryan uploaded to our family history. I think we've got most of the pictures chosen. We surely had such cute little kids!

Hope all have a wonderful Sunday tomorrow.

Love and smiles,
MOM

Ruth, February 17

Dear Ones,

We survived the terrible blizzard last night that closed the roads to Idaho not long after we passed through. Luckily, this morning, we were able to get Amy to the hospital with no problems, and as of now the sun is shining.

We are back at Amy's, and all went well. We are home earlier than they thought. The docs had a tough time getting the line into her neck, and really had to push hard. Amy was semi conscious, and felt as if she was being strangled and suffocated. I hadn't understood exactly what the procedure entailed, so they didn't have to put a large unit under the skin. She will wear it ini a fanny pack, and when things stabilize, she will get a smaller unit. They put in six to eight inches of tubing through her neck on the right side, into her heart, with port coming out of the skin near her right arm, so that it won't show much through the neckline of her shirts. It is currently held in place by some stitches. She is currently mostly pain free, though is still sedated.

Hopefully, she will be able to get to her clinic tomorrow, and get the Remodulin hooked up because the needle in her arm is about to come out. We are waiting a call from there. Amy is really tired, and loopy, due to the anesthetic, and right after we got her home, she threw up what little food we got for her on the way home. She was told that might happen. She is very weak and shaky, and has gone to bed. She has been nauseated all during the week, because of her liver problem, and has had no appetite, but has been nibbling on matchstick carrots and apples. This morning, was the first time she wasn't nauseated, until just now, due to the anesthesia. Her liver enzymes have dropped, so hopefully, she will feel better once she stabilizes from this.

They told her she could start doing her normal routine in a day or two, so we might not be here as long as we first thought, actually, we had no idea. Just to let you know this is over. She is asleep, so I don't know her blood type. Will find out.

Love to all. Ethan, your email was beautiful.
Love, MOM

Ruth, February 20

Dear Ones, Life has been pretty hectic, so I will try and sum up a few things. Thanks,Cameron, for your very clear description of Sat. evening. Amy called a little while ago, but after only a couple of words, somebody came in her room to tend her, and she said she would call later. I don't have much info as of right now, but will attempt to catch you up. The wigs that be, whether big or small, are not calling her condition hepatitis. They have no idea what has caused Amy's liver to malfunction. Rick made a quick call to the kids about twenty minutes ago, but I didn't talk to him. He told Sariah her levels are still high, and they still don't know why.

My patriarchal blessing said I was to be a peacemaker, but we know that Amy has been the victim of incompetency, if not malpractice. As examples, Dad and I were with her Wed. afternoon when, after Rick left, we took her to her appointment to see what was the next step. Dr. Badger, the cardiologist, and his PA, Kevin (who actually knows more about PH than Badger, came into the room. The decision was the Hickman line, which was a blow to Amy. Twice, while Badger was telling Amy this, Kevin interrupted to say, A singular lumen (or line). He said this twice to Badger. So when the Hicknman was implanted, Amy found out it was a double lumen! Her male nurse, who is one of the very few that knows how to manage Remodulin infusion, came out Friday to transfer the line from her arm to the Hickman line, took one look and said, The idiots! She had been throwing up all day and felt horrible, and her eyes were yellowing, and he called Kevin, who said to get her to Urgent Care in Orem immediately. Russ changed her bandages, but wouldn't make the transfer, and told us to leave immediately.

I did not make this next part up. The pickup was low on gas, and we didn't want to take the time to stop, so took the Bronco. This was right during the worst traffic, so we were belting along, and turned into the parking lot of Urgent Care. It took all my strength to turn the steering wheel, which was puzzling. Suddenly the car stopped, smoke billowed out from under the hood. I got out, just as a yellow cat sprang out from under the car, and streaked across a vacant lot. Amy said, That's Ramon, and lots of antifreeze ran out all over the ground. A kind lady stopped and helped us push the car, with Amy steering, into a parking slot, and Amy and I went into the clinic.

While she was waiting, we remembered that Jarom, Mercedes, Caleb, Vera were returning from Heiner's funeral, and maybe could help, so after a few phone calls, Jenna and her brother, Clayton, pulled into the parking lot.

While Amy was being tested, I went out with them. A belt had come off, which had lots of car fur on it, but amazingly, the cat had not gone into the fan. Clay put the belt back on, while Jenna, Ian, Amy and I drove to get more antifreeze, which we added to the car. By then, Jarom, Caleb, Vera, Mercedes and Cameron, whom they had picked up, were there. Clay said we would need more antifreeze in order to get home, so he left and the rest of us in three cars, went back for more. As we were pouring more in, it began running out from under the car. We were finally able to get a guy from the store to come out, and with his help discovered that the radiator was cracked. All this time, poor Amy was deathly sick, sitting in Jenna's van, shivering and miserable.

We decided to try and drive the Bronco to J and J's house, which Cameron did, spewing smoke and antifreeze the entire way. Then, we got in Caleb's pickup, Amy, Vera, Cameron, Amy and I and they drove us home.

Next morning, Amy kept getting sicker and sicker, and weaker, with her face swollen. Urgent Care called with the results of a couple of tests, and said they were ok, but they would let her know about the liver tests. We waited and waited,

Finally, about four, Amy called them back, and the doc there said, Do you mean Dr. Badger hasn't called you? Your numbers are 8.4, and you need to get to the hospital immediately. Then Amy found a text from Badger, sent out about five hours before, saying Amy you should go to a hospital, you have hepatitis! So we called Caleb, and he, Vera and Cam headed to the U of U hospital. The doc was going to call ahead and inform that she would be coming to the emergency room, and to give a note to a certain doc, whom he would tell about Amy. Needless to say, (remember this is Amy's case we are talking about) there was no info, no note, and we were to wait our turn.

We sat there an hour, trying to call her docs. Finally she called Kevin's cell phone again and he returned her call. When he heard about the difficulty, he was amazed, and said he would call and get some help. When Amy said to him, By the way, do you know I have a double lumin Hickman, he said, Oh, my hell!

Whilst all this was going on, Amy's Remodulin was running out. She had two hours left, before it had to be changed. She called Russ, who told her nobody else could do it, and she would have to change it herself.

By then, we were taken inside, and a six hour ordeal began. Cameron explained well, how they believed there had been a fluke, as her numbers couldn't be that high, so pretty much nothing could be done until the test was redone. When they found out it was even high, at 10.something, they wouldn't do anymore tests that required a needle. She was so sick, but lay on that bed, jacked up so that her tailbone was killing her, wearing her funny monkey slippers, and cracking jokes, for several hours.

Finally, she was admitted, and told she could absolutely not change the Remodulin to another arm, because it always bleeds some, so brave Amy talked Vera into just removing the tape, holding the needle in place, which was coming out, and retaping everything into the same site. There was much ado about what to do with her Remodulin, which has to be kept refrigerated, and since nobody had ever seen Remodulin, or knew what to do with it, they finally decided to label it well, and keep it in a special section of the pharmacy.

Remember Amy is one or two per million that has this kind of treatment, and Remodulin is extremely expensive. She has to refill the infusion pump every three days. Hopefully, she can get stabilized, and Russ can go in and transfer it to the Hickman, and get it out of her arm. However, that extra port, or line will have to be flushed every day, to keep it sterile, which will be a unnecessary thing she has to deal with.

We got to Caleb's about 1:30, and I came back here. I've gotten the kids off to church, and am awaiting further word.

Amy has absolutely had it with Dr. Badger. She says she is never going to deal with him again. Rick is so upset, and feeling so helpless. He is ready to sue. Amy's condition has worsened by stupid decisions, and I believe somebody has to take some accountability.

I'm going to send this off now, and will let people know when we know more. Caleb, Vera, and Cam are as I speak, on there way to the hospital armed with Craig's questions, and I will go back later. Dad is on his way back. May God bless us. Love, MOM

Jarom, February 20

Hey Guys,

I just got a call from Mom. She said she had just spoken to Amy and that Amy was told that her blood count has returned to normal. Her liver numbers are still extremely high. Mom doesn't know exactly what that means but that is what Amy was told. She is still very nauseous and has had to have three injections through her Hickman line for nausea. The third one finally worked. Amy says that is will deal with her Doctor during this process but that afterward she will be done with him. That is the update. There is roast at my house if you want to travel here and have some. If not, I may have to polish it off myself.

Jarom

Cameron, February 20

Craig and Fam,

Vera, Caleb, and myself just returned from visiting Amy for about 5 hours. Dad joined us there as well. During that time we didn't see any doctors, although Amy said one had been in to see her earlier in the morning and said, We don't know what to do with you. Apparently several of them are having a conference about it and will make a decision about how to proceed. However, they haven't even offered a diagnosis. We tried to ask Craig's questions to a couple of the nurses but they didn't know anything and just said they would ask the doctors. The only thing they did today was to hook Amy's Hickman line up to a potassium drip as her potassium levels were a bit low. So we aren't any closer at the moment and the lack of contact and information from any doctor is getting a little tiring. She has nearly been in the hospital for 24 hours now and except for general admittance questions, there hasn't been any discussion with a doctor, only nurses. And Vera said that not only would the nurses probably not know anything, they also wouldn't tell if they did as that information is only to be given by a doctor. Her liver levels are still in the dangerous range and so I guess we will know more once they diagnose her.

Cam

Ruth, February 21

Just called Amy. She had a comfortable night with vitals checked every hour. She said at that moment she was feeling a little better, and hoping the docs would see her today. They don't usually see patients over the weekend, as they just have the nurses maintain things. Don't know much more now. Will take the kids up early afternoon.

Love, MOM

Ruth, February 22

Amy is doing better. All her numbers are consistently going down, though slowly. She sounded much better, and was able to eat a little breakfast. Hopefully, Russ, her Remodulin nurse, will be able to get in today to make the transfer from her arm to the Hickman line, otherwise she will have to change the needle in her arm site to the other arm, because the now-arm tissue has deteriorated as it always does so that it won't hold the needle in place. Since nobody else but Amy, Sariah, and Russ knows how to change it, Amy will have to shoot the needle into her other arm tonight, which causes great pain for about two days. Then the Remodulin can go into that site until that-arm tissue deteriorates, which it will in a few weeks. This goes on over and over again, hence the decision to put in the Hickman line directly into her heart. She will have to have a new pump, which is about the size of a brick, worn in a fanny pack, which she will hate. Later, a smaller pump will be used.

After installing the Hickman through her neck, into her trachea (if I am correct), she now has six to eight inches of tubing which is inside her chest, part of which goes into her heart, and then snakes over to a spot near her right shoulder, from whence two tubes emerge with little plugs on the ends of each.

There should have only been one line coming out, but because of incompetency, a double line was used. The Remodulin will run into one line, which will be hooked to the infuser pump in the fanny pack, but the other one is useless, but will have to be flushed with a solution every day to prevent bacteria from growing in it. This should have never happened, and will cause her to have to do that extra care every day. Don't get me started!

So we are hopeful Russ will be able to get in today and change the line. He is exceptionally busy, as he is the only one in the area who knows how to handle Remodulin treatments, and even goes into Idaho to do this care. We always forget that Amy's PH is extremely rare, and not many medical people know anything about it.

Dad is going home today, in fact just left. He is taking Amy's laptop to her on his way, as we were supposed to take it yesterday, but everybody thought everybody else had put it into the car! We have our own little in competencies!

Thanks so much for everybody's prayers and concerns. Laura, so good to hear from you, and thanks, Beth for offering Kelsy's help. I think we have things covered. Rick's boss put the phone into Rick's room, so he calls several times a day, though when we are getting up, he is going to bed.

We have thoroughly enjoyed the fun about Ramon, who is probably either now defunct or digested. Will let you know what is going on when we know more.

Love and smiles,
MOM

Ruth, February 22

What more could Ramon desire than to become an urban legend? I never did hear about Lois' toes...can somebody bring me up to date? Did they get stuck in a whisky bottle?

Amy called about 5:00. She was able to eat a little breakfast, but wasn't able to eat lunch or supper. (Call me old fashioned, but I still think in terms of breakfast, dinner and supper. Remember that lunch is what you take in a paper bag or a lunchbox)

She said Kevin had come in and said they were still conferencing and trying to figure out her problem. Russ couldn't make it, but called Amy to tell her not to shoot the needle into her arm tonight, as he had calibrated her meds and thought she would be ok until tomorrow, when he hoped to get in. After her med run out, she has four hours where the med then has a half-life, or some such strength left.

Lynn, tell Allyson that our website is lrwaite.net. If that doesn't work for her, call me back. Laura, thanks so much for your kind words. Good to her from you and hope you are getting settled in Clifton

From Ruth, February 23 Rick called with the latest news. Amy's liver enzymes have gone up again. Not as high as before, but not good news. Yesterday, she was given a pill for nausea, instead of the injections into the Hickman, and one has to wonder if that is the reason.

A bright spot is that she is having her Remodulin changed from her arm today, which we will believe when it happens, won't we? Russ, the Remodulin nurse is a really good sort, and really is good to Amy, so hopefully he will move heaven and earth to get that done today, as it is critical.

Another tiny bright spot is that she is going to be moved from ICU to the next step-down level. Now you know all we know.

Love, MOM and Ruth

Craig, February 23

Everyone,

One thing we found out when my dad was in the coma a year and a half ago was that we just had to keep pestering everyone until we got the information. To that end, I am listing some of the questions that we should probably ask to know what is going on:

1. Are the synthetic processes of the liver functioning? This can be determined by blood tests to determine albumin levels, clotting factors, etc.
2. Has Amy been taken off of ALL her meds? (this is standard when liver stops functioning--they cannot know for sure which med is causing the problem). 2.a. Is she receiving the remodulin currently? If not, is it because of above? If it is because of the pump trouble, do they understand the implications of not allowing Russ to change the pump to her Hickman?
   2.b. Is the Hospital aware the Amy has been off of the Letairis (which was thought to be the cause of her liver problems) for almost a month now but is getting worse?
3. Can additional family members be added to the information list so we can legally access her medical records?
4. Who will be taking over her care as Physician of record?
5. Is there a diagnosis and treatment plan?
6. Is the Hospital aware that Amy received the wrong Hickman line?

I have a call into my little brother, the other kind of doctor, and will probably add to this list as the appropriate questions come up.

Thanks, Craig

Craig, February 23

I have additional questions to add to the list:

1. What is the etiology (cause) of the liver problem?
2. Was the thinning of the blood due to a metabolic change with the cumiden she was taking?
3. Is this end stage liver disease?
4. If so, is a transplant a viable option?

Good luck to all!!!!

Caleb, February 23

Everybody (especially Rick),

I called the MICU tonight and asked the questions that Craig suggested. Before I get into that though, understand that her being in MICU was more precautionary than anything. The hospital, when changing the Remodulin from her sub-cu line to her Hickman line, wanted to keep her monitored very closely as this change can result in differing levels of medication being administered and can cause vitals such as blood pressure to go crazy. However, the doc on call seemed satisfied that her vitals are holding and that hopefully tomorrow she will be out of MICU.

As far as the questions from Craig, this is more or less what I got:

1- The synthetic processes of the liver are functioning and seem to be functioning within normal limits. Her albumin is good to go and her INR is holding steady around 2.4. This is perhaps the most important thing and suggests that she is not in immediate danger of liver failure.

2- She is still on the meds. Tomorrow, they will test her enzymes and see if there are any changes. If not, they will probably end up doing another scan. Pharmacists will look at all of her meds and try to pinpoint which is causing the elevated liver enzymes (that should have happened Saturday night if you ask me, but of course no one is asking me).

3- Additional family members can discuss her condition with the on-call personnel as long as they have Amy's personal code (8377). The MICU number is 801-581-2434.

4- A Dr. Hatton is currently the physician overseeing her, but that of course can change as soon as she is discharged from MICU. He is however a pulmonoligist and knows quite a bit about PAH. Too bad he isn't a liver expert.

5- The treatment plan really depends on her enzyme levels. Once they are knocked out of normal ranges, it is common for them to take weeks or months to return to normal. However, Dr. Jensen said that judging by her vitals and her current synthetic functions, that she fully expects Amy to eventually get back to normal levels. She described the decreases in her enzyme levels followed by increases as temporary fluctuations and not permanent trends. So basically any slight decrease doesn't really mean anything. Rather, they are looking for significant trends.

6- Dr. Jensen wasn't personally aware of the double lumen(sp?), but she is now. She did say that the nurses are experienced in flushing the other line daily and that they would be sure to do so.

That is what we know so far. Amy was in terrible shape (I haven't seen her that bad) as far as nausea and weakness. She was delirious and very tired. However, Vera later mentioned that the nurse said that Amy was on some sort of drug that can end up causing lethargy. Hopefully, the majority of her condition tonight was because of that. She still can't eat anything, but did seem to jump at the chance for some chicken noodle soup, so hopefully she is gaining an appetite.

Anyway, sorry for the lengthy email. We are praying for you and your family Amy and Rick. We love you.

Good night,
Caleb

Ruth, February 24

If Amy didn't improve today, I was going to tell the docs, Don't make me come up there! AS Caleb emailed, Amy is feeling a lot better. The med for nausea has finally kicked in, though it leaves her in a sort of stupor, though if she can gets lots of rest, that's probably the best. She was able to eat for the first time, and is having no nausea at all. Her Remodulin is being increased gradually every couple of hours. I left a list of questions about our concerns with the nurse, which he was going to put in her file. Thanks, Craig! As I was leaving, they were getting her up to use the bathroom and to take a shower. That will make her feels loads better. Back on our prayer bones, this time to offer up much gratitude that she seems to have turned a corner, if only a slight one. Her sense of humor is back. She even tried to convince me that what was running down her chin was cream of chicken soup and not drool. It was soup.

On the way home, I heard a cute story on KSL. It was a replay of an actual 911 call. 911, what is your emergency? My wife just got attacked by a wart hog. Can you send an ambulance to pick her up? What is the address? 102 Eucalyptus Can you spell that? (long pause) Uh, I'll just drag her over to Oak St. and you can pick her up there.

At least we have more to smile about now, other than Ramon.

Love and smiles,
MOM and Ruth

Ruth, February 24

Amy called a little bit ago saying that she is feeling a lot better, but her blood levels are up a little again. They think they can control it, and if so, will transition her to her fanny pack infusion pump, and she can come home between 3:00 and 5:00.

Cross your fingers!

Love and Smiles, MOM and Ruth

Ruth, February 25

Amy is home! She is terribly, terribly weak and somewhat nauseated, but in her own bed, with her C-PAP on, and asleep. She can sleep all night without being wakened every hour. She has an appointment back at the hospital on Tuesday with a new doc, who is a pulmonologist, which is a little worrisome, as her condition is usually treated by a cardiologist. We hope she won't have to go all the hour and a half drive up to the U of U for every appointment. At least she is home again. She won't miss Doc Badger, but his PA, Kevin, has been an outstanding help to her, and she doesn't want to lose him.

Mariah's farewell talk is this Sunday, but I had better stay here. Will email you later, Mariah.

Love and smiles,
MOM and Ruth

Ruth, February 27

Today was stake conference, so Sariah took the kids down to that, and I stayed with Amy. She is terribly weak, partly due to her blood pressure being quite low, which will hopefully be taken care of on Tuesday. Russ, the Remodulin nurse is sick, so he sent out another one this afternoon because she had to learn how to set up this new system. Oh, my gosh! The entire process is so complicated, and everything has to be kept so sterile, that I don't see how she can keep everything straight. It took an hour do it today, but the nurse says that when she gets used to it, amy can do it in abaout twenty minutes. At one point, when she is flushing the extra line, which she should never have in the first place, she can't even breathe on the connectors. She still has stitches holding in the two lines as they come out, which bother her, but until everything is stable, the entire Hickman line can just slide out.

Amy took a shower just before the nurse was due, and it was very hard on her. We will have to get her a shower chair, as she is so weak. She couldn't even take off the caps of some of her bottles of meds, now unscrew some caps on her equipment. Hopefully, she will regain some strength soon. She sleeps most of the day, waking up around 10:00, and then eats and goes back and sleeps all afternoon. She wakes up for dinner, (supper) and then stays awake for an hour or two, to visit with the kids, and then back to sleep all night.

Dad went to Mariah's farewell, and said she gave a wonderful talk. He said Laura was there, and had a nice chat with her. He is back home now. I guess that's all the news from here. Hope everyone is well. Good to hear from you, Mary, about Carolyn and the whiskey quilt. She really loved Bryce, and mentioned how people called him Bishop because he was LDS. Carolyn and I were VT companions for nine years with 100% visits, due almost entirely to her. She had never gone VT before, and loved it. Always made the calls and arrangements.

Ethan and Georgia called this afternoon. Georgia had hepatitis years ago, and gave us some good pointers as to diet whilst Amy is having high levels. It took Georgia about two months to start to feel better. Thanks again, you two.

Well toodledoo for now.

Love and smiles,
MOM and Ruth

Rick, February 27

Hello all I just wanted to drop a quick line and let you all in on a funny conversation Amy and I had. She had taken her phenagrin which makes her a little loopy. I think it gave me the biggest grin, as I was laughing so hard I could hardly think straight. Here is the conversation.

Enjoy
Rick

ucsoricksh: hi ucsoricksh: are you awake amy
shumway2000: hi, just going back to sleep
shumway2000: pills make me tires
ucsoricksh: how do you feel
shumway2000: decent
ucsoricksh: good, we need new tires
shumway2000: rick shut up
shumway2000: i xan barely see straight
ucsoricksh: oh come on, that was funny
ucsoricksh: sounds like you can barely xanex straight
shumway2000: no xanaz
shumway2000: just pils
shumway2000: nausea
shumway2000: pills
ucsoricksh: have you eaten
shumway2000: yes
ucsoricksh: good
shumway2000: got a little naueate
ucsoricksh: how are they going to monitor your blood levels
shumway2000: gi ih tuesady'
shumway2000: in
shumway2000: my atms are heavy
ucsoricksh: I think you are speaking a diffrent language
shumway2000: imeed to go to bed
ucsoricksh: what are you sady about
ucsoricksh: Oh I'm saving this one
shumway2000: why
ucsoricksh: it is hilarious
shumway2000: why
ucsoricksh: go back and read everything you have typed
shumway2000: too tirsded
shumway2000: need too lie down
ucsoricksh: yes...... you do
shumway2000: can i tial otfro you layer?
shumway2000: later
ucsoricksh: I don't want to stop now
ucsoricksh: I haven't laughed this hard for a while
shumway2000: why
shumway2000: bw nice
shumway2000: i'm tired
ucsoricksh: I know
ucsoricksh: and I do love you
shumway2000: i don't think so
ucsoricksh: even though I am going to send this out on e-mail
shumway2000: whyu
ucsoricksh: that's why
shumway2000: leavce mje alone
shumway2000: i;m going otr bed
ucsoricksh: I love you much
shumway2000: whateverd
shumway2000: making fum of me
ucsoricksh: I doooo
shumway2000: goodbye
ucsoricksh: Have a nice nap
shumway2000: ok
ucsoricksh: love you
shumway2000: lovr e you
shumway2000 is typing...
shumway2000: byer
ucsoricksh: bye

Ruth, March 3

Dear Ones,

Dr. Hatton's office called this morning, telling Amy that she has an appointment with some liver specialists at 1:00 tomorrow. He told us the other day, that he wanted them to see her to see if we could get to the bottom of this iver stuff. At least he is following through. Russ came again this afternoon for the remodulin training, which has to be done every other day. He said Amy is in really good hands and should do much better with this doc. Amy was told Dr. Badger had been just too busy to follow up with her properly, and Russ said, I don't know about that!

Amy is still yellow, and very weak. Her blood pressure is 90 over 54 as of this afternoon. If she dips down into the 80s, she has to go to an UrgentCare facility, where they will try and get her rehydrated. She is supposed to drink and eat as much as possible, which she can hardly stand to do. For breakfast she had a few pieces of watermelon, and a few swallows of Gatorade. At lunch she had most of a banana. Tonight, she was craving baking powder biscuits, which Sariah and Ainsley made, and was able to eat one of those. She's probably had about twenty oz of Gatorade altogether. She has lost between 15 to 20 lbs, depending on what scale is used. We have to start weighing her daily.

Russ says Dr. Hatton is trying to get her off of Remodulin, to see what happens. If she does ok, he will start her on another inhalent, which she needs to do four times per day, but it is really easy, not like the vantavis inhalent. Again, if she can do without it, these horrible changes of her pump very other day will come to an end, and perhaps after some time, the Hickman can come out. At least she doesn't have the needle in her arms.

So, that's what we know so far. She was going to take a shower this morning with her new chair that Ryan put together, but was unable to even get out of bed because of weakness. Hopefully, things will start to turn around. The med for nausea helps, but then she is so sleepy, she can't wake up.

Things are going well here. The kids are lots of fun, and are trying to work hard on chores and school.

Hope you had a happy birthday, MmmRuby!

Love and smiles,
MOM

Ruth, March 4

Brace yourselves...Amy is back in the hospital! We had an appointment with the liver specialists at the U of U and left here at 10:30 this morning in order to have the tests done by 1:00 appointment. Amy's billirubin (sp?) is up to 9, though her enzymes are slowly going down. Her blood is at 4.2, which should be around 2.4 of therebouts. Some indicator for a liver transplant is 40, and Amy's is at 31. There was no way they were going to do anything but admit her today. All the rooms were full, so she was told she would have to lie on the examination table in the Liver Lab for up to five hours, until either somebody either died or was discharged. (my evaluation) Whilst waiting, Amy started singing Up a Lazy Liver... a joke from the past, and asked for liver with onions.

After about two hours of being very uncomfortable lying on the hard table, and having three different people come in and ask the same identical questions...What brings you here today? What meds are you taking? and Where is Cedar Valley? someone finally brought in a chair to take her upstairs to 4th floor, where she was before. She just hoped she wasn't going back into the MICU, which is a tiny, dark room, where the very ill are jammed in, but have to get up and walk down the hall to the bathrooms.

I have just arrived back here, and Rick's parents have taken all the kids except Sariah, who is now gathering things Amy needs, such as her C-PAP, Remodulin, which needs to be changed tomorrow, which will be a pain, as Russ is not affiliated with the hospital, so he will have to stand by and talk an affiliate through the process.

Oh, Amy just called and has been told that if she can't eat anything tonight, she will have to have a feeding tube put into her throat tomorrow. The only thing she can bear the thought of eating is some grilled chicken, mashed potatoes with cream gravy, from the deli at Walmart. She can't stomach the hospital food, so Sariah and I are leaving right now with her stuff, and will stop by Walmart and pick that up. All she has been able to eat today is a little watermelon, and a slice of Swiss cheese. Everything else nauseates her just to think about.

Got to go!
Love, MOM

Ruth, March 4

Just got back from the U of U to take Amy's things. She is back on the 4th floor, not the MICU. She was able to eat two drumsticks and some graham crackers, so hopefully, she won't need a tube feeding. She had been given an injection for nausea, to help her be able to eat, plus more injections of Vitamin K to help her blood. It wasn't the best diet food, but she was desperate to get anything down to avoid the tube.

As Sariah and I got up to the 4th floor, Caleb and Vera came around the corner, so we went into the room together. She is in room 4128. She was talking to Rick, who was understandably worried, thinking she should never have been released when she was in before, with everything so out of whack. He is sick, with possible strep throat. Remember when he was hit with the car whilst on his bike down by Lehi Mills, and lost his spleen? I could be wrong, but I think that's when he lost it. Maybe I'm wrong.

Amy was cheerful, but she is extremely weak. She could hardly get out to the car this morning, and needed a wheelchair just to get into the hospital, which we've used every time we've taken her there, actually. She can hardly lift her arms, and has trouble unscrewing lids from bottles of stuff.

Just a note to let you k now the latest. Good night, loved ones.
Love, MOM

Ruth, March 4

Amy spent a horrible night throwing up and having terrible hot flashes probably due to the Remodulin withdrawal. Russ helped her with the process yesterday, but she will probably be completely off it when they send her home. That will be a great relief in some ways, not having to do all the maintenance stuff, but she is worried as to how it will affect her. She doesn't think she will be put on another lung med until her liver clears up. She is feeling a little better as of right now. A doc came in and said he was going to meet with two other docs about her condition, and will decide on the next step. She hasn't yet had a blood draw this morning to check on the liver levels. That should happen soon.

Will go in and see her in a little while. Hope all is well with everybody. If not, don't tell me. I banged up my leg several days ago, working downstairs, so need to go home and stay off it for a few days. Rick's folks are coming to hold down the fort. I think I will lay myself down and bleed awhile, then rise again and fight as the words of an old Scottish songs go.

Love and smiles,
MOM and Ruth

Jenny, March 6

Hey all,

Just got a call from Mom and Dad. They had the latest on Amy. Things don't look good. She is in acute liver failure and tomorrow they will do a biopsy to see if the liver is regenerating at all. If not, they will put her on the transplant list immediately. She is still unable to eat and is still pretty out of it. We need some acute faith and prayers right now. I firmly believe that the faith of the family and especially of two missionaries and the sacrifice of their families count for a lot.

Mom and Dad are on their way home right now but will be back in a couple of days. We have a lot of questions but Mom and Dad don't know anymore than that.

Anyway,
Talk to you later,

Ruth, March 7

Dad and I are here at Caleb's and Vera's. We didn't feel right going home with things as they are. We are making arrangements for Lilah, and will just buy a few things as Dad didn't bring any toiletries nor sinus stuff. He is really weak and coughing, but feeling better than he was.

Some of us will go to see Amy in a while, but we aren't too sure about Dad going in. We will ask about getting gowns, masks etc. if they say he will be able.

Going over what Amy told me...she has a 50-50 chance of needing a transplant, and will know more tomorrow after the biopsy. If so, she will be put on the top of the organ waiting list. She will need an entire liver, not part from one of us, as due to the severity of her condition, there will be no time for a partial one to grow. She needs to have a fully functioning one right away.

One of the signs of liver failure is an extreme aversion to food, which she has. She has to eat, and her lunch was being brought in whilst I was there. I don't know why she isn't on an IV, but will ask later. Dad stayed down in the car. Rick called whilst I was there, and he had just spoken to the liver guy, Dr. Box.

We will send more info when we get back from seeing her later.
Love, MOM

Jenny, March 7

Mom just called from the hospital and asked that I give you the latest update. Amy is waiting to have the biopsy done. They are giving her plasma right now to prepare her for it. She isn't nauseated currently but can't eat anything until the procedure is finished. She doesn't know how soon to expect a result from the test.

I am flying to Salt Lake tomorrow afternoon and will stay for a few days.

Jenny

Ruth, March 7

Dear Ones,

Just sitting here in Amy's room as she is sleeping. The ordeal of the biopsy is over, and she is absolutely exhausted. She barely has strength to whisper. Ryan and Caleb gave her a priesthood blessing last night. To see two of my boys bending over my poor little girl, with such intense looks of concern and love on their faces, brought me two tears. What a great blessing to know that anyone of her brothers and her dad are worthy to call down power from heaven in behalf of Amy, is so gratifying. Then they tenderly put booties on her swollen feet that were cold. She is certainly surrounded by love from us all. We know every one of you would be here if you could and do all you could for her. So far as Amy's kids and home are concerned, G-ma Willie and Mike are there and things in that area are covered. If you feel the need to come, we leave that up to you. We have no idea what the future holds as of now. I can be here and will stay the night and tomorrow. Jenny will be here tomorrow afternoon, and we will go from there. A rep from the transplant team came in and talked to me, as Amy was sleeping. Her blood was drawn for matching purposes earlier today. I told her of our concern that there was talk that she will be sent home until the results are known, which makes no sense to us. I told her Amy lives too far away from any medical help, and that we don't want to take that chance. Rick thinks the insurance company is pressuring them to release her. He is going to talk to the doc about it. Unbelievable!

Amy's skin and whites of her eyes are really yellow. She couldn't eat all day because of the procedure, and now that they have brought in her dinner, she is too sleepy, and couldn't stand the thoughts of food.

Well, guys. Now you know what I know. Love to all.
MOM

PS. Dad came up a little while ago. He couldn't stand it anymore, but was really careful. He set up Amy's laptop so that I can use it. I've certainly struggled with her fancypantsy cell phone. Her room number is 1- 801- 585-8377. If you call, I would rather have you use that number, as I will be here to answer it.

Ruth, March 8

We had a fairly quiet night. People in and out giving Amy meds, checkups, etc. She said one warlock came in and drew lots of blood. The couch in here unfolds into a bed, and I had blankets and pillows brought in, so was comfortable.

No nausea. The blood pressure is up inching up into acceptable levels, according to an intern, but when it was just taken it is 82 over 48 One bad concern is that she came in a few minutes ago and said Amy would be discharged today! Dr. Box will need to make the final decision, but we strongly voiced our concerns, and she said she would share those concerns with the powers that be.

Dad just came in. He and I are going to go get something for breakfast.

Will email later when we know something more.
Love MOM of the two tears

Caleb, March 8

So far no real news other than it seems more and more likely that she will be discharged today despite Amy expressing concern that she just wouldn't be able to handle that. Her blood pressure is just so low that it is shocking that they would even consider discharging her. Anyway, Amy, Mom, and Dad are all waiting around for the liver doc to come in and give the final word. I will let you know as soon as I do.

Caleb

Caleb, March 8

Latest news: Doc Box (who wears a spotted bowtie by the way) decided that Amy needs to stay at least another night. He seemed surprised that it was even thought that she should go home. Anyway, that is the latest. Jenny should be landing about 7:30 or so.

Caleb

Ruth, March 9

Jenny arrived safely last night, and Caleb and Vera picked her up at the airport. It was great to see her walk into Amy's room. Whilst they were going to get Jenny, Dad was on an errand to find a Peto or Bepo, a Mexican place, because after being unable to eat much yesterday, and having more nausea, Amy suddenly had a brainwave, that a crispy taco with shredded beef, sour cream, beans and rice would taste wonderful! Dad arrived from the hole-in-wall, greasy spoon bearing the requested food. Amy was actually able to eat the entire thing, and enjoyed it thoroughly, not even getting nauseated! We had a good visit when Jenny arrived, then she stayed the night, and we went to Caleb's.

Dad and I are here at the hospital again. Jenny just left to go get something to eat. Amy ran a fever of 102 during the night, but doesn't have one this morning. However, the rule is no release for 24 hours after a fever. The docs haven't been in yet with any results of the biopsy, so we are still twisting in the wind about that. Amy had lots of blood drawn during the night, but this morning was able to eat sausage, and half a pancake, and wasn't nauseated. That's good news.

Today is Mariah's big day entering the MTC. We hope that somehow we will get to see them, but certainly wish the best for her.

Will let you know more as soon as there is something to tell.

Love and smiles,
MOM

Jenny, March 9

The liver brigade just left. Dr Hudson, who is the specialist on call today, thinks that Amy's problems are drug induced. They still don't have the biopsy results, of course! They will hopefully have them back this afternoon but it may take until tomorrow. They sometimes have to do extra staining tests to get a clearer result. Dr Hudson said he anticipates that there isn't any permanent damage. He said that patients with drug induced liver problems usually make a full recovery, although it may take weeks/months before Amy doesn't feel like crap. At least she will be recovering. This isn't a sure thing yet but Dr Hudson feels hopeful. He did point out that the biopsy isn't definitive. It just helps them make a more educated diagnosis.

Her fever hasn't come back but neither have the blood test results to see if she has an infection. If she does it will be easily treated with an antibiotic. Dr Hudson wasn't worried about it. Her other levels are good and he thinks she is improving. She has been nauseated for the last couple of hours but hasn't thrown up.

Adin, Eve and girls stopped by on their way to the MTC. They couldn't stay long but it was great to see them and bid Mariah farewell. She seems so calm. I won't mention the child abandonment issue that occured. I'll let them explain that on their own. Just know all is well now!

Amy is relieved by what Dr Hudson said. It is a good sign. A liver transplant is still an option but we are encouraged. We will let you know as soon as we know more.

Jenny

Ruth, March 9

Dear Ones,

Since Dad arrived Sunday to pick me up after my shift at Amy's and Rick's, bringing only the clothes he was standing up in, he has missed four days of his meds. He was beginning to notice symptoms, and so with Jenny's arrival, and after hearing Doc Hudson's encouraging news, we decided to come home for a couple of days and regroup. We were given a good amount of hope, with his news that many of her liver levels have improved quite a lot. She still feels horrible, which, unhappily will continue even as she improves.

We had a wonderful visit with Mariah's family, as they dropped in on their way to the MTC. Mariah looked so put-together in a beautiful gray suit with a maroon blouse, black stockings and black heels. What a lovely missionary! All the others were dressed up in their Sunday clothes, and the entire family looked so sharp! The child abandonment issue was funny, if a little nerve wracking. Hannah, we missed you! Maybe you were caring for Garry and Ricky?

We have arrived safely home, to find all well here, with Taylor's and grandson having taken care of Lilah. I was pleased to see my petunias I've saved from the summer, and dragged around the living room each day to partake of the sunshine, has managed to put forth two purple blooms! Dear Dad dragged them whilst I was gone. That's true love!

Kristele's folks have offered to finish Amy's and Rick's basement for free! We have all been overwhelmed with their offer, but both Amy and Rick feel they can't accept such a wonderful gift. Will write later.

Love and smiles,
MOM

Ruth, March 9

Hey, everybody! Jenny just called and some doc went in with the biopsy report, which is very, very good. Though not completely conclusive, it appears that as the doc suggested this morning, that Amy's liver trouble was drug induced, and not a disease, which means it should heal on it's own. She will be released to go to Caleb's and Vera's tomorrow at 9:00. She still feels awful, but what a wonderful outcome! We are so grateful for the answer to the Priesthood blessings she has received, and for everybody's prayers and encouragement. I imagine Heavenly Father said, Ok, ok! I'll heal Amy's liver. I've never heard such a racket, and so many prayers! He will still have to hear our prayers of gratitude. I'm paraphrasing, but somewhere in James, it says, The prayers of the righteous availeth much.

Thanks again to all! We will all sleep better tonight. Love, MOM and Ruth

Ruth, March 10

Dear Ones,

Jenny just called, and Amy is now safely installed at Caleb's and Vera's. Morgan was able to pick them up. When she was getting ready to be released, she threw up all her meds, and for a while, it wasn't clear as to whether or not she would be released. They didn't get out of there for a long time. She did have an ice cream cone on the way. Russ was able to get to Caleb's and change her Remodulin stuff, and will be back on Sat. Her pulmonologist, Dr. Hatton, wants her to stay on the very low dose for the rest of the week at least. She has to go back to the U of U for tests on Monday, and has an appointment with Hatton Tuesday at 1:00.

Amy has been told that her liver is like mush, being so badly injured by the drugs. She will be sick for a long time, sadly. I don't know how long she will stay at Caleb's, but I will be going back down Sunday, to switch with Rick's mom. Maybe we will need to keep her at Caleb's until Tuesday and ask Willie and Mike to stay until then. Amy isn't to be left alone, so we will make arrangements to get everything covered.

Eve, I remember that pix of the few friends for dinner, and it was fun to laugh at it again. Glad all went well with Mariah getting to the MTC. We would love to see some pix of her and family. Hannah is in a play, and was unable to go. What is the play, The Sound of Music? Good luck with that.

Love to all,
MOM

Ruth, March 11

Dear Ones,

Here at home, things were quiet until about 8:30 last night, when a sudden clap of thunder and a huge burst of wind hit the area. We've seldom, if ever had such a strong wind, and then rain poured down in sheets. I was getting frightened that the roof would blow off. The Russian olive tree at the far end of the fishpond had two trunks, but one of them split off and fell into the lilacs by Chelsea's path. Behind the fence between us and Chapa's, two of the Russian olives are leaning, and will probably have to come down. The tall fence next to the barn, where the haystack used to be, has blown part way down. Both computers made funny noises and blacked out, plus the tv channels all disappeared. The lights blinked on and off, but stayed on. The wind kept up all night, and this morning it has died down, but is still too dark to see what else might have happened.

What about Japan? I wonder if the earthquake and tsunami there will change anything for Mariah's mission plans. My goodness, lots of turmoil all over the world. One might think we are in the last days or something.

Haven't heard anything about Amy as of this morning, being so early. Am wondering how she and Grishnak are getting along. There's no love lost between either of them, which is unusual because he was born at Amy's place, and she loves cats so much.

Couldn't sleep, so got up and checked the news and found out about Japan. Love, MOM

Ruth, March 11

Dear Ones,

Jenny just called with a report on Amy. She slept on the hide-a-bed in Caleb's living room, and Jenny on a mattress in the nursery. Both slept all night, and Amy wasn't too bothered by nausea. Don't know yet when she will feel up to going home, but understandably, misses her kids. Spoke briefly with Eve about Japan and Mariah, and of course, nobody knows anything yet. What a mess over there!

Love, MOM

Jenny, March 11

Hello family! I am sitting in Caleb and Vera's living room watching Amy sleep. We made a bed for her on their living room hide-a-bed. We added a blow up mattress, which was laboriously inflated by Jarom, Morgan and Trista with a hand pump, to the hide-a-bed mattress. She slept all night last night. She was able to eat cheerios this morning and even drank some chocolate milk with extra protein that Vera got. She was nauseated after eating the cheerios but felt better after taking her nausea medication.

She was awake for about 2 hours. She sat in a chair for about an hour during a visit from a home health nurse. The liver docs want her to have some physical therapy to help her recover some strength, which is what the home health agency will be focusing on. She is very weak and can't even open her shampoo bottle.

Her blood pressure was 98/60 which is the highest it has been since I have been here. Her INR (the blood thickness) was 3.0. It was 3.2 yesterday when she left the hospital. Normal should be in the 2.5 range so she is making progress. Of course she isn't on Coumadin, her blood thinner, right now but it is still a good sign.

I hope all of you are well. Did the dissertation get sent off? Chelsea and Jason will probably need home health care as well once that is over! How well I remember those days! So stressfull but so worth it!

Jenny

Ruth, March 12

Amy is still at Caleb's and Vera's with Jenny. A Remodulin nurse went there today to change her meds again. Hope she can get off it this week, after her appointment with Dr. Hatton on Tuesday. We are going down tomorrow and will see how she is as to whether she can go to her home, which she really wants to do. Jenny has a flight out Monday morning, which Caleb will take her to. She's been a great help! Thanks for doing without her, Craig, Tristan and Emily.

Morgan, Trista and Lettie should be back at their place. Thanks for your help, as well, guys. Hope you start feeling better soon, Trista. I think Home Health people will go into check on Amy when she is home, and try and give her some physical therapy to strengthen her a little.

Love, Mom

Ruth, March 13

Dear Ones,

Dad and I are still here at home. Neither of us are feeling top notch, and also, Rick's mom and Mike said they could stay longer. Amy is back at her home, and is probably thrilled to be in her own bed. Thanks so much to Vera and Caleb for helping out so much with their home, and for Jenny's help. She flies back home tomorrow morning.

We will probably go back either Monday night or Tuesday morning so far as plans go now. Morgan, Trista and Lettie arrived safely home in their new car, which Morgan says they will probably name Millie, as now they have a car payment hanging around their necks like a millstone. Betty was traded in, and maybe Vernon is still in their garage, I didn't think to ask.

Hope everyone had a good Sunday and got your clocks all changed so you weren't late.

Love and smiles,
MOM

Ruth, March 14

Dear Ones,

Jenny left for home this morning. I talked to Amy about 9:00. She had a good night and had eaten a little breakfast. She says she is feeling a little better than when in the hospital, but about the same as when at Caleb's and Vera's. The Home Health person was able to take a blood test, so she didn't have to go into the U of U. I just called again, and Amy is sleeping. Willie has some food for her when she wakes up. The blood test shows her billirubin is still up, but the liver doc while in the hospital, said he wasn't so worried about it, as it would take a long time to come down. Dad and I will be at her place tomorrow morning in time to take over for Willie and Mike. Dad will come back home. He is still coughing a lot from being sick. This time of year is the worst for his allergies and coughing spells.

We don't have any more to report, so hope all is well with each of you. Love, MOM

Jenny, March 14

I'm home, although it took all day. Caleb dropped me off at the airport at 8:30 this morning and we just walked into the house at 9:00 this evening. Our van broke down about 25 miles from our exit on the way back from the airport. We think it is an electrical problem. We were able to pull of an exit and found a place to park it for a couple of days. Tristan, who is suffering from one of his migraines, had to come pick us up in our old car. Thank goodness we kept it! Craig's new car is still in the body shop after the kid's wreck and now the van is broken. We are grateful we were fairly close to home when it happened. Hopefully it won't take too much work/money to repair! Craig is the keynote speaker at a big event at Fort Leavenworth tomorrow so we will try to get the van back on Wednesday.

I'm so glad I was able to spend some time with Amy and see some of the rest of you. Thanks, Caleb and Vera, for carting me around and letting me stay with you!

I'm tired and will go to bed now! Hope you all sleep well!

Jenny

Ruth, March 15

The U of U just called and said that the blood test taken yesterday by Home Health shows Amy's liver is getting worse again. We had to cancel her 1:00 appointment because she couldn't even get out of bed. This is a terrible blow to us all, Amy most of all. Have been in touch with Rick. He is devastated, to say the least. They are talking transplant again. Don't know much more, except Dad is here and we need to take her back to the hospital as soon as a bed comes available. There is no use for her to go to the hospital and wait there. So sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Will email again as soon as we know anything.

Pray hard.
MOM

Ruth, March 15

We are still waiting for a call from the hospital that a bed is available. Some poor schmuck who is still to sick to go home will be put out to make room for Amy, just as she was sent home too early, in our never-to-be-humble opinion. Then Amy will be pushed out in a few days because his conditions worsens. Oh well!

See that the church is moving missionaries in Japan three times the distance the government considers is safe from the radiation threat. Missionaries from Tokyo and Sengai will be moved to other areas in Japan. Wonder how that bodes for Mariah?

Love, MOM

Ruth, March 15

The hospital just called with a bed for Amy, so we are getting her ready to go. Rick's family is having a fast for Amy tomorrow, and we are invited to join them. Will get back to you when we know anything.

Love, MOM

Jarom, March 15

Hey guys,

Mom just called me. Amy got checked in and is on the 5th floor which is for surgery and transplant patients. Caleb and Dad gave her a priesthood blessing. Mom and Dad are on the way back to Amy's so Dad can go home. He is not feeling well. Mom will go back to the hospital tonight. Thats about all they know.

Jarom

Ruth, March 15

Dear Ones,

I am back at Amy's getting kids taken care of. I will go in first thing in the morning. Amy was getting her CPAP set up and wanting to go to sleep. At this point we don't know anything more. Dad is on his way home. As I said before, this time of year is the worst for him, and he isn't feeling well.

Caleb and Dad gave her a blessing. Caleb gave her a wonderful one, that gave Amy great hope. We still hope her liver will regenerate on it's own. As Caleb said, The power that creates can also mend.

We love all.
MOM

Ruth, March 16

Back home at Shumways'. When I left, Amy had not been to the ultrasound as yet. they were planning on installing the feeding tube at the same time. She is not to have food by mouth, which doesn't bother her. I will be here a couple of hours and then take some meds into Amy that we forgot here. Her Remodulin is being covered by the hospital. Thanks for all prayers and support.

Love, MOM

Ruth, March 16

Rick just called and had just finished talking with some docs about Amy. They told him that even though she is on the liver surgical and transplant floor, that she is still going to be treated by a medical team and not a surgical team. That was the only bed they could find for her.

When they released her this last time, they said her liver needed lots of protein in order to regenerate, but because of her terrible aversion to food and her vomiting much of what she could force down, she wasn't getting what she should have had. We wish they had put in a feeding tube while she was in there, and maybe they now will. A transplant isn't absolute at this point.

I'm going to head up to the hospital in a few minutes, so will no more then. We will soon all need transplants for stiff upper lips, as ours keep getting wobbly.

Love, MOM

Caleb, March 16

Mom just arrived at the hospital and so far has nothing new to report. Amy did sleep pretty well last night and is back asleep now. One doctor had come in and asked the same old questions of history and how did you get here, etc. (they just want to make sure that Amy actually is who she says she is). Other doctors were scheduled to come in this morning. We will let you know as soon as we find anything out.

Caleb

Caleb, March 16

Mom just called with news that the doctors had come in and had decided that Amy was to get a feeding tube. They hope that this is what will take care of the problem. They will bypass her stomach and go straight to the small intestine in hopes of alleviating any potential nausea that the food might otherwise cause her.

They will also perform a blood/urine culture to ensure that there is no infection in her body that might be causing the liver issues. Furthermore, she did have a transplant evaluation which consisted of a litany of questions regarding her psychiatric condition. Basically, the docs feel that if the feeding line doesn't work, they are looking at a transplant as an inevitability. Let's hope and pray it doesn't come to that.

We will let you know more as soon as we hear.

Caleb

Laron, March 16

Amy has been moved from the surgical section of the 5th flour to the medical section. Her new room number is 5314 and her telephone number is 801-585-8562. She was put in the surgical section at first because there wasn't a bed available anywhere else. Rick, her security code is the same.

Amy is very tired and needs food and rest. Mom is with her now and she will report more later when she can get her email to work.

Dad

Caleb, March 16

The latest on Amy: Mom just got there about 10 minutes or so ago and Amy does have her feeding tube in. She said it was an awful process, but at least that is over. Also, she is definitely on the list for a liver transplant. As Mom had mentioned, this may be perhaps the way through which our prayers regarding her having a healthy liver are answered. That is all we know at this point.

Caleb

Ruth, March 16

I just got back from the hospital. I went in and spent most of the day, but came home to get a med we had forgotten, which she needed tonight, and got things going here. The kids are really pitching in and helping. As Caleb said, by the time I got back to the hospital, through a terrible rainstorm and awful traffic due to an accident blocking traffic for about an hour, Amy had the liver ultrasound, and the feeding tube installed. She said swallowing that was really bad. The results of the ultrasound shows that she is being put on the transplant list. She will have lots of work-ups tomorrow, one of which is to see if her lungs are strong enough for the surgery. The Remodulin dosage was cut in half again today, and so is down to a really small amount.

We really appreciate Rick's family instigating a fast for her today, and inviting us to join. The decision to do the transplant, if she passes the criteria, might make us feel as if the fasting and prayers were to no avail, but we also prayed that Heavenly Father's will be done, and who knows but that this is the way he will heal her. I've learned by hard experience to not question the Lord's decision when He hands it down.

Our golden girl ( she is so yellow) is lying in the 5th floor, under the beautiful quilt her Auntie Mary made for her. She loves it and it brings her comfort. Everybody who sees it admires it, Mary. Thanks again so much!

Amy can still eat by mouth if she can think of anything she would like. She is taking the decision rather well, maybe just because the twisting in the wind is possibly over. The after care for a transplant is very difficult, and she is afraid of the immunosuppresent drugs' side effects, though a volunteer comes around who has been a survivor for three years, and is only on one anti-rejection pill. His name is Mr. Woods, and he is a good-hearted guy, but goes to see Amy every day she is in the hospital, and is way too chatty. He even brings in a rock collection to show. Nice guy, but I had to ask his supervisor to tell him Amy is much too sick to be visited. He exhausts her with his little jokes and talk.

Well, family, love to all. We will see what tomorrow brings.
Love, MOM and Ruth

Ruth, March 17

We did get Amy's phone situation cleared up. Too many handsets had grown legs and walked away. We were able to find them late last night after a massive search. Also, my cell phone is having troubles. Yesterday after leaving the hospital, I noticed I can't call out, and the message says the Call failed, 210.00 units or something like that. However as I stopped at Walmart to pick up a few groceries, Jarom was able to call me. However, after charging all night, it wouldn't work when Dad tried to call me this morning, and I couldn't call him. Dad is trying to figure things out, so if you don't hear from me, that's why. I'm leaving in a few for the hospital, and will find out what's going on there, and at least get a message out probably to Caleb, who has his computer right handy at his work, and can send emails out.

Happy St. Patrick's and I don't have a bit of green to my name, even though it's my favorite color! Boy, am I going to get pinched!

Love and smiles,
MOM

PS Megan thanks for the info of your transplant survivor. Will pass it on to Amy. Glad to hear good success stories.

Caleb, March 17

Mom just called from the hospital. When she got there the docs were performing an EKG with a portable machine. Amy is too weak and her blood to thin for them to move her to the machines, so they are moving the machines to her. Amy says she has been tested all morning and is just exhausted so she is trying to get some sleep right now. Mom will call me back when she knows anything else.

Caleb

Jenny, March 17

So, this really isn't much of an update. I called Amy's room and spoke to Mom. She had only been there about half an hour. A cardiologist had been in and did some testing with a portable machine. Amy was to tired to tell Mom what kind of testing it was so we hope to find out more later. Amy is sleeping now. Mom didn't know if they have tested her lungs yet.

Jenny

Caleb, March 17

Mom just called. So far Amy, is not on the transplant list. The docs are still deciding as to whether or not to put her on. The one factor that will decide this is whether they think that her lungs will be able to handle it. Dr. Hatton will make this decision. He had a doctor come in (somebody that reports direct to Dr. Hatton) and he listened to Amy's lungs and noted that Amy was very, very weak. The next step comes from Doc Hatton. If he thinks that Amy's lungs will withstand the transplant, he will recommend a transplant to the Amy's insurance. The insurance will then decide whether or not to cover the cost. Currently, we are all waiting for Doc Hatton to come in and check Amy out.

Doctor Hatton did mention that he hopes that he is proved wrong regarding the need to transplant. He hopes that now that Amy is on a feeding tube that her liver will start to come back. While not relying on this, he did say that there is a small chance. I will let you know as soon as I hear more.

Caleb

Caleb, March 17

I just got off the phone with Mom again. Doc Hatton just came in and said that things are somewhat looking up. He set her pressures (blood, I guess) are looking stable. She will be completely taken off the Remodulin today and he is thinking about removing the Hickman line (perhaps by as soon as tomorrow). He feels that her lungs are stable enough and will survive a transplant and so he is going to recommend this to insurance. She is still quite weak, but he attributes this to her liver alone. They have put her on a new lung med (nifedapine sp?) and they are increasing that daily. He feels it is much better than Remodulin. Amy was talking in the background when Mom called and was eating watermelon. Will let you know as soon as I do.

Caleb

Caleb, March 17

I know these emails are coming many and often, but here is the latest:

The doc in charge of her Hickman line wants to keep it in a few more days at least. He feels there is no need to remove it as there is no infection and it is also a handy port via which medications could be given. Also, Amy was told that she is so weak due to her liver, but also due to the fact that she hasn't had any sustenance for so long. They are hopeful that she will regain energy as time with the feeding tube goes on. Mom is going home right now and will return in the morning as all of the big wigs have left for the day and Amy is going to sleep. I will probably go in tonight and will let you know if there is any news.

Caleb

Rick, March 17

Hello All

First, I want to thank all of you for your care, concern, support, fasting, and prayers. It means so much. I just talked to the nurse about Amy, and here is the latest. I was concerned at how weak Amy is today so I got some stats on the feeding tube. they are putting 1750 calories (that would actually be kilocalories for those who want to get technical) a day. That includes 78 grams of protein. I would like to see the protein doubled, but the stuff comes premixed so I don't hink there is much opportunity for custom formulation. If she could just get a couple of protein shakes down every day it would help a lot. They nurses are going to pull about 30 labs in the next hour to do more of the work up. I am hoping that continued feeding and rest will show some improvement in her liver levels. The nurse said she hasn't been nauseated for the last couple of hours, so maybe that will show some improvement. Caleb, could you put Jim and Annie's e-mail addresses of this e-mail and add them to your group for now so they can be updated as well. I would appreciate it.

Thanks, and I love you all
Rick

Caleb, March 18

Mom just called. Amy is sleeping right now but had a rough night. She got up in the middle of the night and fell causing her feeding tube to come out. They haven't put it back in yet and when they do it will be a tough thing for her to do again. That is all we know right now. Mom will call when she has more news.

Caleb

Jenny, Friday, March 18

Amy called Adin an idiot. (I hope we can document the time!)

Amy was uncomfortable during the night and constantly asked Mom to take her home.

Jenny

Laron, March 18

Amy was moaning and thrashing about. Marci suggested that some music my help her be more calm. I found a CD of Scottish Tranquility in the car. We had purchased it in Kyleakin on the Isle of Skye and played it while we drove around Scotland and England. While it was playing she hummed along and became calmer.

Ruth, March 21

Dear Family,

Our dear girl passed away at 8:14 yesterday morning after a terrible roller coaster ride of emotions, hopes and despair. She was put on the transplant list in acute liver failure, and really went into a fast decline. The liver came from Sacramento and had arrived, which was a miracle in coming so soon. At that point, though Amy had been suffering and was nearly comatose, we had great hopes. Just a short while later, her kidneys started to fail, and she was put on a dialysis machine. She stopped responding to questions and was very confused. She was put on a ventilator, and we never heard her voice again. As she was being prepped for the transplant, her heart stopped, and Chelsea and Georgia watched them do CPR on her. I had just stepped out. They got her heart going again, but by then she was dropped from the transplant list, and was given a couple of hours to live. Rick had been told to come home and he got a flight to Kuwait, which a little while later was canceled. He was frantic and crying every time we talked to him, which was frequently. He was going to catch a cargo flight, which would take long, and would be very uncomfortable. He was able to talk to Amy frequently by phone, though by then we didn't know if she could hear him. Several other times, he had after she was unresponsive, but as we held the phone to her ear, she would start to cry. She responded to her children by crying, and opening her eyes, and would try to talk, but it came out as a moan. Searing stuff! We were all able to go in as she was breathing her last. She was wired up to so many tubes and hoses in her mouth and had a feeding tube sewn to her nose. I'm sorry guys, but it was dreadful. Her dad gave her a blessing of release, and all her siblings were there. She only took a few breaths, and gratefully was gone. Then she was unhooked from all the tortuous machines.

We are staying at Caleb's. Rick was able to call from Kuwait while waiting for another flight, and was on speaker phone with her and her children as they stood crying around the body of their dead mother. We had a prayer of gratitude that she had gone quickly. We are all worn out after going with no sleep. Rick will be home this afternoon, and we will then make funeral plans.

One of the worst parts was watching our children's faces as they wept for their beloved sister.

Love Ruth and Laron

Will get iin touch later when we know more. Thank God she is out of this mess.

Ryan, March 18-20

Friday at about 11:30 Jenny called me and said that Amy was doing badly and the doctors had suggested that the family gather.

I called Jarom to see if we could ride to the hospital together since Marci and I only have the van.

I met Jarom at Macey's in Spanish Fork and we drove up to Jenna's work to pick her up. We drove from there to the hospital. We met Caleb as we got off the elevator and he took us to Amy's room. Mom was there and some of Rick's family. Amy was out of the room getting a feeding tube put in that she had removed the night before. Mom was very anxious and worried because she knew that Amy was in pain due to the procedure. We waited for Amy to come back and visited with each other about Amy's condition. I can't remember all the details but we were worried about her liver. I don't know if she had been put on the transplant list at that time. I think we were waiting for some doctor to give us some news.

They finally brought Amy back to the room. She was covered in her favorite quilt. She was able to speak but she would not or could not open her eyes. We all surrounded her and caressed her feet, legs and hands. Mom was talking to her the most. Two nurses were working on her and trying to get liquids down her feeding tube, I think Pepsi and some kind of juice. Amy looked very yellow and would keep the quilt covering her face. I was scared because I had never seen Amy like this. In all her sickness and pain over the years she had never acted like this. I sensed that she was scared. I wanted so badly to hold her and tell her that I loved her, to comfort her. Everyone was taking any opportunity to get close to her and touch her or talk to her. Amy's children arrived and we brought them to her bedside. They brought Eli to her and she felt his body and face and kept asking if he was there. It seemed she couldn't see him. She called his name and touched him. This broke my heart.

We continued going in and out of the room to watch her and be with her. At one point I had the opportunity to be up by her head when there weren't many others around. I leaned over her and kissed her on the check. I whispered, Amy this is Ryan, I love you. She answered, I love you too. She said it so sweetly, like an angel, I could feel her love. This was very uncharacteristic of our normal way of conversing, which scared me more because I knew she wasn't her usual jovial self. So many times since we found out about Amy's illness I have craved a conversation like this with her, a chance to tell her how much I loved her and what she meant to me. It was hard for Amy to talk that way, at least with me. I am grateful she finally let me tell her without joking.

Someone, probably Caleb, found a staff room down the hall that we could gather as family to make more room in the hall and Amy's room. By this time Dad had arrived. Jarom and I had met him at the elevator. He had hugged us both and I could see the concern in his eyes. We took him down the hall and when Mom saw him she rushed to him and they held each other. I think Mom cried. I know she had been wanting him there. He had driven down from Idaho.

We took advantage of the staff room. They had provided some snacks. We sat and talked about Amy and basketball. Ron, Annie's husband, was there and we asked him about his job. We talked about what BYU's chances were against Gonzaga the next day. We talked about Jimmer and tried to guess who might be the next coach for Utah. Several times I went down the hall to see and be with Amy. She was always on my mind. I just wanted to be with her.

Marci was not able to come with me because Rachel was babysitting for the neighbors until 1830. Her plan was to come up after that.

Saturday morning, March 19th, I was anxious to get up to the hospital to see Amy. I knew that Jenny and Megan and their families were already there. Marci and Rachel Heiner packed a food basket for everyone. It had lots of oranges, apples, bottled water, carrot and celery sticks, cauliflower, licorice, soda, almonds, peanuts, cookies, crackers, easy cheese, and gum. I called Jarom to see if I could ride with him again. Leah wanted to come with me. Marci took us to Jarom's house, then we rode up with Jarom. When we got there we met Jenny and her family and Megan and her family. Willie and Amy's kids were there and were just getting ready to leave. Ainsley wanted Leah to go to her house with her, so Leah left with them.

We all waited in the waiting room and only 2-3 people could go back to see Amy at a time. I don't remember if I went back to see her at all on Saturday. I must have because I remember seeing Megan back there. Megan was leaning over Amy and stroking her head and singing Where can I turn for peace? I don't think Amy was responsive at that point but I can't remember. I think I went back there with Cameron. I think we stayed there for a little while.

A little while after we got back to the waiting room they told us they were going to move Amy to intensive care. After they moved her to intensive care, Jenny and Adin and I went up to the fourth floor to look for a place to move everyone. We talked to a very nice nurse there and he told us about a BIG waiting room on the 3rd floor that would probably be empty. We scouted it out and were very happy with what we found. It was out of the way and yet very big with lots of chairs, some bathrooms and T.V.'s We went and got everyone and everyone was happy about the new spacious place. We felt like we could be alone as a family and be ourselves.

We sat and talked and waited for Ethan and Georgia to come. Var and Jason went to get them at the airport. Ethan, Georgia and Catalina arrived and we were all so excited to see them and especially little Cata whom none of us had ever seen. I think it was then that we said a family prayer, Adin being voice. They were very restrictive on how many could visit Amy at once. I think Ethan went up to visit her and was so disappointed that he couldn't take Catalina in for Amy to see. We waited. A few of us went down and got some food at the cafeteria. We talked and laughed and cried.

Mom and Dad and Ethan went to go get a hotel room, and ended up getting 3 rooms for two nights.

We watched the BYU basketball game. Adin didn't watch the game because he wanted to sacrifice for Amy. We were all happy that BYU beat Gonzaga by more than 20 points. During the game or soon after, Var went to get some food from a grocery store. Everyone who was still there ate. Caleb had gone home.

Soon after we ate a woman came into the waiting room and acted like she was looking for somebody. She was about to leave when I asked her who she was looking for. She said she was looking for the Shumway family. We told her we were Amy's family. She was from the transplant team and needed to talk to us. Since Mom was gone to the hotel, Adin and Jenny sat down with her and talked. At one point I glanced over and saw Jenny beckoning for me to come over. When I went over she told me that they thought they had a liver for Amy. This woman didn't know that we didn't know they had a liver for Amy. We were excited but hadn't heard from a doctor so weren't sure if it was true. The woman had Adin and Jenny sign some paper work and left.

We debated about whether to call mom or to wait until we knew for sure. I called Caleb and told him and then we waited until 10:30. There were a bunch of other things that happened. Some went upstairs to find out for sure. We were worried that Amy had an infection and if she did she wouldn't be eligible for the transplant. Jenny and Adin had some kind of meeting with somebody at 10:30 about the transplant. After the meeting we were pretty sure the transplant was going to happen, but Amy might die on the operating table.

We called Ethan who was at the hotel and told him, called Caleb and told him. We then all got into Megan's van and Morgan's or Cameron's car and went to tell Mom who was asleep at the hotel. We were happy and laughing and joking. Ethan went to Mom's room and told her that we all wanted to say goodnight to her so that she wouldn't be shocked when we all arrived. After recovering from the shock of our arrival, Adin told her that there was a liver for Amy and the transplant had been scheduled for 5:00 the next morning. Mom burst into tears and hugged Dad and cried and cried.

I was holding my cell phone with the speaker phone on with Caleb on the other end. I think we said a prayer. Then we all went back to the hospital. None of us wanted to leave because we wanted to be there for the operation. So we all tried to find places to sleep (under tables, in corners, etc.). I went down to the truck to try to sleep. I think I slept for about 2 hours, in and out of sleep. I felt worried but confidant that everything would work out.

I think it was around 2 or 3:00 that I just couldn't sleep anymore, so I went back up to the waiting room. I found a blanket and Kristele gave me a pillow and I tried to sleep under a table. I awoke to the sound of Cindy talking and knew that we were getting close to the operation. I got up and the doctors wanted to meet with 2 or 3 of us at 4:00 for the final decision of whether or not they were going to do the transplant. Adin and Jenny went up to meet them. I just remember the doctors were meeting with a bunch of people and I was anxious that they were going to tell us they couldn't do it because Amy was too sick. Ethan didn't want to come down to the room because he didn't want to hear them say they couldn't do it, so he stayed in the waiting room on the 4th floor, and I walked further down the hall to hear.

I looked in the room and saw Megan and she looked back and saw me and smiled. She then got up and came out to the hallway to tell me that things were still good and that the operation was still a go. I turned to Ethan who was down at the other end of the hall and gave him a thumbs up or a big smile so that he knew things were good. I went down and gave him a big hug and told him that the operation was still on.

We walked down the hall where we knew we could see through a window the others waiting on the third floor we got their attention, and gave them the thumbs up. Then I cant remember why maybe I was calling Mom. But I was walking out of the hospital and that was when Grandma Willie pulled up with the Shumway kids and Leah. They had come to see Amy right before the operation.

The operation was delayed till 8 o'clock, I needed rest and so Ethan talked me into going to the hotel and sleeping for a couple of hours. I tried to get Leah to come with me, but she didn't come. Var and I and maybe someone else went down to the hotel to Mom and Dad's room. I got into one bed and Var got in the other. I had just fallen asleep when there was a knock on the door. It was Megan and Jenny. Megan slept with Var and Jenny got on my bed and I had a nice restful sleep.

Then Megan's cell phone rang. She went out into the hall to answer it, then came back in and told us that Dad wanted us all there because Amy was doing worse. We got up, got dressed, and went out to the foyer and waited for others to get up. I ate some of the continental breakfast and then we all got into Cam's and Kristele's car. Kristele and I were on our knees, hunched down in the back of their car.

We were all still in a pretty good mood and had NO idea what was waiting for us at the hospital. We got to the hospital and went up the elevator and were walking down the hallway to the waiting room when we saw Leah coming towards us bawling. We hurried our pace and I grabbed Leah and held her close hoping she wouldn't tell me anything. We turned the corner into the waiting room and everyone was crying. There were some screams. Everyone was hugging each other and I don't remember who told us..maybe Chelsea or Mom or Adin. I think it was Chelsea. She told us Amy was going to die, there was nothing the doctors could do and Amy would be dead within two hours.

I don't know how to describe the feeling I had; Just a sudden feeling of despair and hopelessness. I walked over and gave Dad a big hug. A bunch of us went over by a window and sat in some chairs there and not knowing what to say or do, just sat staring and sobbing. I would get up and pace around and then go sit down again. One time I remember going over and hugging Adin and telling him I was mad. I wasn't angry at anything in particular, I was just angry. He told me not to be mad. Later I found out he thought I was mad at the doctors.

I called Marci and told her and told her I just wanted her there, that I needed her there with me. Then some people were going up to see her and eventually I went up to see her. I think at that time they were letting anybody come in and there were lots of people in and out of the room. Everyone was going up to her and saying goodbye.

Dad, Adin and Rick's brother, Jim, gave her a blessing and released her from this life, and soon after that the nurses came in and unplugged the machines. We all gathered around and told her she could go and Mom was up by her head on the right side, looking into her face, holding it and saying, Oh, my beautiful girl!. I was on her left side and had Leah and Ainsley right in front of me by the bed. I had my hands on Leah's shoulders. We watched as Amy's breath slowed and then the death rattle started.

I couldn't take it anymore and I didn't want Leah there, so I grabbed her and we walked out. We walked through the doors of the ICU and in the hallway we saw Dad. He looked so sad. I walked up and hugged him and he said, Can we really do this? Then I don't remember much except we walked in and out of the room.

At one point I walked in and somebody told me that they thought Amy was still breathing. I saw a doctor go in and check her vitals and he pronounced her dead. I remember turning and walking back out to the hallway and noticing Chelsea was walking beside me. I turned and hugged her. She was in so much pain and there was a shocked look in her eye. I had my arms around her as we walked out into the hallway and then we just started hugging everyone.

Eventually we ended up out in the waiting room on the fourth floor. We all sat around on the chairs and cried and talked about Amy and about who we should call and I remember Mom saying that there were still eleven of us (kids).

I got up and walked down the hall to where Adin was and he said to me, And now we are ten. I then said something like, I hope I am next, because I don't want to do this again. And he said he hoped he would be next and his chances were better. Cameron overheard us and said that he would probably have to go through it a lot and that he would probably be last.

I then went back to the group and sat by Mom. We talked more about Amy and someone produced Amy's wallet and handed it to Mom. We looked at her driver's license. She looked so beautiful and young and healthy. And Mom said, That's our girl!

I remember feeling guilt and telling the family that I wished they had done more to help Amy. And I wished she had let us know more how she was doing. Eventually I went back into her room to talk to her some more and say goodbye again. And I realized that I was there with all four of my sisters because Jenny, Chelsea and Megan were there. I realized that this might be the last time I would be with all four of my sisters (in this life). I just wanted Marci there. I couldn't wait for her to get there. Everybody decided to go to Caleb's house. Everyone was getting ready to leave when Marci showed up. Just my family and I went in to see Amy for a few minutes and say goodbye.

Jenny, Saturday, March 19-20

6:45 a.m. We (Jenny, Craig, Tristan and Emily) arrived from Kansas. The nurse said that Mom and Amy had a long night and he didn't want to wake them. Mom had just fallen asleep around 6:00 a.m. She didn't sleep long though as she came out to the waiting room shortly after.

7:15 a.m. Mom took me into Amy's room. Craig, Tristan and Emily came in one at a time to see Amy. Amy was very sedated and didn't respond much when spoken to.

All family members took turns visiting Amy during the day. We gathered in a small waiting room on the 2nd floor. Marci and her sister in-law Rachel (is that right?) sent a large basket with various goodies. Ethan, Georgia and Catalina's flight arrived in the early afternoon.

2:30 p.m. The decision was made to move Amy to the MICU on the 4th floor. I believe I was with Mom when the doctors explained that she absolutely had to have a transplant. Her doctors hoped to put her at the top of the liver transplant list. Adin and I gathered her things and assisted Chris, her male nurse, in preparing to move her.

3:00 p.m. Chris wheeled Amy's bed by the waiting room where the family were gathered on the way to the elevator. No family members were allowed to enter the MICU until Amy had a heart cath and had been put on a ventilator. A nurse from the MICU told the family they should wait in the 3rd floor waiting room. It looked like the Promised Land! It was so large! A perfect place for us! Even better, it was empty! Some of the family members left to get food and some rest after a couple of hours. Mom and Dad left for the hotel but I don't remember the time.

Only two people were allowed into the MICU at a time. Two at a time kept checking on Amy, hoping we could start visiting her over the next 3 hours. Ethan and Georgia hadn't been able to see her yet. Some family members got food and stayed in the waiting room.

Around 6:00 p.m. Adin and I were asked to talk to a research assistant(?) who visited the family in the 3rd floor waiting room. She wanted permission to include Amy in 3 studies that were being conducted. She explained the studies to Adin and I. The first two involved testing parts of her liver after a transplant. We decided to give approval since we assumed Rick would be home long before a new liver was available. Adin signed the consent forms. The researcher then explained that the 3rd study would involve giving Amy an FDA approved drug 3½ -7½ hours before a liver transplant and again after the transplant. We were more concerned about signing that consent. We asked a few questions (which I don't remember). We discussed that we would prefer to know what Rick thought but would still sign the consent forms since he would be home in the next couple of days. The research assistant then mentioned that Amy's transplant surgery was scheduled for 5:00 a.m. the next morning. I can't remember how long Adin and I sat, trying to absorb the information we had just been given. The researcher didn't realize that we hadn't been told that a liver match had been located for Amy. I had the distinct impression of time slowing down as I tried to wrap my brain around that amazing news. Then several thoughts seemed to flood my mind at once. Was she sure? Who did we need to talk to in order to confirm that information? Was she sure? Was the liver at the hospital already? Was she sure? I also remember thinking of the poor family who's loved one was dying while we rejoiced. Adin and I tried to calmly figure out what to do next. I wanted to jump up and tell everyone else who were just a few feet away from us but was afraid to. What if she was wrong? Certainly this isn't the normal way a family finds out a lifesaving organ has been found for their loved one. We asked her if we could confirm the information with the MICU. We were concerned about getting her in trouble if she had spoken with us too soon. We decided that Adin would sign the consent forms while I went to the MICU for confirmation. I remember hugging that woman and telling her that every one of my siblings (all 10 of us) would donate a kidney to anyone she wanted if she would just get that liver for our sister. I was on my feet by then but just couldn't bring myself to calmly walk past the rest of the family on my way to the MICU. I don't remember how we told everyone else. It is all a happy blur.

I know that Megan went with me to ask the MICU if there really was a liver for Amy. We were told at the desk that they hadn't heard anything about it. They said that the doctors were having trouble doing Amy's heart cath on the right side and so they were trying to do it on the left side. As Megan and I walked away to report what we had found out I had the impression that the doctor was trying to tell us there was a liver without actually saying it. It seemed to me that they just hadn't finished all the tests necessary but that there definitely was a liver match for Amy if she was healthy enough to undergo the transplant.

It was hard to tell everyone else that we didn't know for sure but the attitude in the waiting room had definitely changed. Most of them had planned on leaving for the night but no one wanted to go now. We got more food and had a grand time watching the BYU game and talking and laughing.

Around 7:00 p.m. We saw one of the Life Flight helicopters land on the roof of the parking lot building. We all ran to the window and discussed the possibility that Amy's new liver was on that flight. We took pictures but couldn't get a good one from the floor we were on. Jason offered to go up to the higher floors to get some pictures. Chelsea was sure he would return without having accomplished his task, if he returned at all. We laughed about how he should take pictures along the way to help him find his way back, like Hansel and Gretel leaving bread crumbs. Then we wondered if he would just take a picture of his foot on the tile which wouldn't help once he needed to return. Sorry Jason! We had a good time at your expense!

7:30 p.m. Sariah arrived with her date for Prom. Cindy, Jim's wife, was their chauffeur and was with them. They waited for a long time to try to see Amy but had to finally leave for the dance. We didn't tell them about the possibility of a transplant. We wanted to be sure first. I wondered if they were confused about how happy we were. The MICU told us we could try to see Amy during visiting hours, which started again at 8:30pm.

8:30 Adin and I went to the MICU to try to see Amy and get confirmation that she was scheduled for the transplant. The nurse at the desk wouldn't give us a direct answer until we got rather insistent. I remember telling her that our parents and some other siblings had gone to a hotel and their homes to rest and probably wouldn't be back before the surgery that we thought was scheduled at 5:00 a.m.. I felt like I was pleading with her. She looked at the MICU doctor who was working with Amy (I don't remember his name) and he said he felt fairly certain that the transplant would take place. He is the one who said hope is good. We went back to the waiting room to tell everyone else. Shortly after that we went to the hotel to tell Mom and Dad the good news.

Adin, March 19-20

Hate to admit it, but the BYU game was my reference. It was supposed to start at 5:45, but was probably a little late, it was about 5 minutes into the game, maybe 12-15 minutes of real time, when the research lady came in. After she left, I decided I wouldn't allow myself to get back into the game, so went up to my prayer platform at the top of the stairs on the 7th floor landing (the door was locked, so I knew I wouldn't be bothered).

Came back down during half time, and decided to accompany Cameron to find Ethan, who was returning from the hotel. We went out and found him outside and told him about the liver. Ethan was so happy and hugged me. What a great feeling to convey good news. We talked for a minute and tried to get back into the hospital, but had to walk clear around to Childrens Hospital before finding an unlocked door.

At 7:15, while we were walking, Eve called my cell to tell me the score of the game, but I didn't tell her about the liver yet. Then we had to walk down the sky passage to Amy's hospital.

We got into the waiting room with 2 minutes left in the game (and I still did not watch). Games usually last 2 hours, so this was probably around 8:00. It was not long after the game was over that we went up to talk to the doc, so 8:30 sounds about right, I believe it was then the doc said hope is good, and we decided to tell Mom and Dad. I have a call from my cell to Eve at home at 9:12, and we both remember that I called from outside the hotel, in Var's van, ending the call when we couldn't hear very well inside the cement parking garage.

The next call was to Dad at 9:45. That must have been that terrible news that Amy's kidneys had failed. Hardest call I've ever had to make.

All is well,

Chelsea, March 19-20

(Saturday- late afternoon). We had finally convinced Mom and Dad to go get a hotel and get some rest. They left with Ethan, Georgia and Catalina. There was a group of us still left. They were doing the heart cath on Amy and were taking a long time. Nobody could go and see her since she had moved upstairs. While we were waiting people started to watch the BYU game on t.v. Morgan and Trista showed up at some point. Some girl came in and said she needed to do a survey and we referred her to Adin and Jenny. We were kind of put out because nobody felt like doing a silly hospital survey. They went over and talked a while going over some papers. Megan walked by at some point and spied on them and said they weren't talking about anything to do with Amy, which made us feel even more sour towards her. As she was leaving, Jenny said that they think they might have a liver and explained what the girl had just told them. The girl seemed uncomfortable being the one to tell us and soon left. Jenny and Adin went upstairs to find out what was going on, but came back later saying nobody would tell them anything definitive. We were still excited because they hadn't said that they didn't have a liver but, we were still anxious to find out what was going on. They told Adin and Jenny to come back later.

The game continued on. We talked about all the innuendos and what they might mean as far as a liver transplant was concerned. Ethan called to say he had a room for Jason and me at the hotel and that he was walking up to the hospital. Some of the boys went to meet him. We saw the helicopter out the window. It had landed a while back and we wondered if it had possibly just delivered a new liver. Jason went up to the 5th floor to take a picture of it so we could later say that that was the helicopter that brought the liver. The game went into overtime. At this point, I think it was around 8 or so. Cindy and Sariah showed up to show off Sariah and her prom dress to her mom, but nobody was allowed in still. Sariah was disappointed and said she would wait. I talked with Cindy for quite a while. They finally decided to leave or they would miss the dance. We took pictures with Sariah.

At this point, Adin and Jenny went back upstairs to talk with the docs. Ethan had arrived at this point. Var had gotten some food from the cafeteria and people were sitting around talking and eating. I saw somebody jump up out of the corner of my eye and they seemed excited. Jenny and Adin were walking in with the big grins on their faces saying that there was a liver and Amy was scheduled to get the transplant at 5:00 a.m. We couldn't believe it. We all said a prayer and decided that we needed to call Mom and Dad. Adin said let's go and tell them in person and so we all rushed out into the elevators. At one floor the door opened and some bewildered people saw all of us just jabbering away and Jenny yelled our sisters gettin' a liver as the door closed.

We drove to the hotel. Ethan had called ahead to tell Mom and Dad that he needed to bring something over. We filed into their room. Dad was in bed. It smelled like Vics. Adin, I think, told them the news and Mom, of course, broke down. It was a great moment. Somebody had Caleb on the phone and he was listening in (standing on his tip-toes on a stool, leaning out the window, or some such scenario). I remember wishing Jarom had been there. As we filed out, Mom said that she felt like she had given up on Amy but now we had her back.

Jason and I and Ivy went to the room that Ethan had reserved for us. Others went back to the hospital. I woke up at 4:30, excited, thinking that the surgery was going to begin soon. I showered and left. It had snowed and I was scraping snow off the car when I saw Ethan up in the window in the cafeteria. I went back inside and ate breakfast with them. Georgia and I gathered up food to take to Mom and Dad. Ethan kept away with embarrassment, according to Georgia, since we were sneaking food out.

Drove to hospital in Morgan's car, which was nice. This would have been between 5:00-5:30, maybe closer to 6 a.m. We were upbeat and excited. On the way in, Georgia scolded Ethan for letting cold air blow on Cata's face and ears. We found Willy/Mike and kids already there and they said that Mom and Dad were upstairs in the smaller waiting room. We went up there and gave food to them. They told us the surgery had been delayed to 8 a.m. Mom asked if Georgia and I wanted to go and see Amy. We went in. Mom stayed outside for a while and then went back to waiting room. Two nurses were in working on Amy and they said they were just trying to get her blood pressure back to normal, which had dropped somewhat. One of them showed how the dialysis machine was working. I had no idea at this point Amy's kidneys had failed. I just assumed it was something they were doing to prep her for the surgery. We watched them for several minutes but they seemed to become more and more preoccupied and busy. I touched Amy's toe, waiting until I could go up to her face and talk to her. I didn't get the chance as we were soon told to move by a nurse who came in with some machine on wheels. We stood outside watching as more and more people came in and more equipment was brought in. I could hear the beep, which I assumed was her heart, and I heard it stop. I peeked into the room and saw someone with the paddles on Amy's chest. I couldn't believe what was happening. Georgia and I had been huddling together like two scardie cats. I heard someone yell get some more epi into her and that's when I knew it was bad. We ran out to the waiting room and I grabbed Adin and told him something was wrong. I heard Mom say, Don't tell me, don't tell me, I don't want to know.

Adin and I went back in and stood in the little narrow passage way right in front of her room. We could see Amy's legs through the now large group of people who were in there. They were very busy and there was a lot of commotion going on. At some point Ethan came in to stand by us. One of the nurses looked at us and said, I'm sorry guys. Other than that, nobody looked at us or talked to us at all during the entire process. At some point we heard someone say they got the pulse back. Ethan hugged me and said, Did you hear that, did you hear that? They got the pulse back. They continued working on her for what seemed like a very long time, but weren't so frantic at this point. Still nobody would even look at us. I looked at the clock at some point and noticed that it was 6 something but I don't remember the minute. We waited some more. Adin asked somebody what was going on but he said he was just an intern and couldn't tell us anything. We waited some more. Adin asked someone else and she explained very little, in broken English no less, just that Amy's rate and blood pressure were stable.

We heard several nurses order different prescriptions from the pharmacy for Amy Shumway. Eventually, the doctor (I don't know his name but Adin did) came up to us, looking grim. He explained that she wasn't doing well and that the swelling was causing problems, although he didn't know why her heart stopped. He said they might have to cut her stomach open to relieve the pressure but that would make a transplant very difficult and that it would be up to the transplant surgeon to decide. He said that things looked bad and he wasn't very optimistic about her getting the liver. We thanked him and walked back out to the waiting room to tell Mom and Dad.

I can't remember who was out there. Caleb and Cameron? We told Mom and Dad and we knelt down in a circle and said a prayer. I think Ethan said the prayer, but I could be wrong. We were still hoping for the best at this point, but we were obviously very scared. Somebody said they would go and tell Willy and the kids.

Soon Jim and Cindy came up to find out the details. Jim called Rick. The connection was bad and had to try twice. I was sitting next to Jim and heard Rick answer. Jim said Hi bro and then he and Cindy went in to talk to the doctor so Rick would know what was going on. In the mean time, I saw the transplant surgeon come and go. He was in operating garb with a mask, whether or not he was prepping for Amy's surgery I don't know.

We found out later that Amy was off the list and there wasn't much they could do to help her at this point. I don't even remember who told us. Jim maybe? Dad had just walked back to the waiting room from somewhere. Maybe it was Dad who had gone to talk to Willy before. Adin or Ethan, I don't remember who, told Dad Amy wasn't going to get the liver and Dad was physically taken back. He grabbed his head with his hands. Somebody said we needed to get down stairs and tell the kids that Amy wasn't getting the transplant after all and that she wasn't going to live much longer. I remember walking to the elevator, feeling very numb and almost dizzy. Mom said, We can do this. We need to do this for Amy and make her proud. She repeated this several times in the elevator. When we got off the elevator, Nathan and Eli were standing at the end of the hall. I waited for them to walk up to me and told them to come with us into the waiting room. When we got there, I saw that someone had already told Ainsley and Sariah, who were sobbing. I pushed Nathan up to Mom who told him and I pushed Eli up to Willy who said, You're mom's not going to make it. He started sobbing and we hugged him and hugged him. Willy sat down with him and held him on her lap and rocked him while he cried.

At this point we still didn't know how much time Amy had left. I remember talking with Jenny and Megan about how it might drag on for days and would there be any possibility of them getting her stabilized for long enough to wait for another liver. Then we saw Jim run in, who had already taken the older kids up to see Amy, and grab Eli and ran off. It quickly became apparent that there was little time left and this reality hit everybody very hard. There was a lot of sobbing and wailing and we all went upstairs to see her. We all staggered back in to the room. Megan couldn't go in at first and had to collect herself outside. I handed the baby off to Kristele, I think, and went in for the last time before she died. The rest we all know. I can add to this but since everyone else was there I assume someone has filled in these details.

Megan, March 18-20

Here is my version.

Var and I arrived about 10:40 Friday night. Amy had her eyes closed but when Mom said Megan's here she opened her eyes for a little bit so her eyes could adjust and then closed them again. I told her about the story of Isaac watching her hair blow around and she smiled. I asked her questions and she would respond with uhhuh. She asked for Dad. We told her he was here and she looked at him again. I said Var was here and she asked why? I left the room with mom and dad to talk about Rick. She overheard us talking and asked for him. Var was in the room with her and said that Rick was coming. She said I can't wait to see him. You know about the next morning except that when we all got to go say goodbye to her before she moved up to the next floor. Vera and I went in together.

She was on the oxygen. We talked to her and every now and then she would turn her head in the direction of our voices. When Vera was leaving she said. Evelyn can't wait to meet you and Amy groaned and turned toward Vera. Vera kissed her hand and left. I had left and had gone and walked down the hall past the elevators. As I was coming back I could hear everyone saying goodbye to her as she went past the waiting room to go upstairs. She came down the hall and went past me. I said, we love you Amy and she opened her eyes widely but didn't turn. She just recognized her name.

The next few hours are fuzzy to me. I know that I had gone down to get stuff from our car and when I came back up I was met by Ryan and Jenny who were smiling. They told me there was a liver and I went up to the next floor with them. I went in with Jenny that first time. About an hour later Sariah came but we chose not to tell her anything until we knew more. At some point, Jenny or maybe Adin and I went back up and spoke over the intercom and they told us to come back at 8:30 until after shift change. After 8:30 Adin and Jenny(maybe others) went up to find out more and came back smiling. We were all very excited and decided to go tell Mom and Dad. Ethan said a quick prayer to Thank Heavenly Father for this gift and for the family that had made the sacrifice that we will never forget. I remember those words specifically. I remember piling in the elevator and Chelsea concerned about the weight limit. And a lady tried to get on and decided not to after seeing us packed in like sardines. I remember Jenny saying our sisters gettin'a liver.

I don't recall time frames other than Adin and Jenny coming back and saying that Amy's kidneys had failed and their could be an infection and that we needed to come back at 11:30?? I remember that I paced around the upstairs waiting room while Jenny and Cam sat. Cam kept saying Amy would love this challenge and would say Bring it on! At one point the doctor came out. Adin was there, with Jenny, Cam and I. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ryan hovering around. The doc said, We can't find an infection the transplant doc is going to go ahead and order the liver and preop will begin at 4 surgery at 5. I walked out in the hallway to Ryan and said they are ordering the liver, Surgery will be at 5, she might not make it til then and she might not make it through the surgery. As soon as I told Ryan they were ordering the liver his hands shot up to his mouth (probably to keep himself from squealing). He almost ran away and then listened to the rest of what I had to say. The whole time he was smiling. I do remember the doc saying that her PPH was being controlled with simple or moderate medication or some such thing as that. Adin shook his head in either disbelief or disgust. That horrible disease that we were all so afraid of for many years was being controlled. It wasn't even an issue now.

Cam came in being pushed in a wheelchair by Kristele. They had a pile of pillows. Everyone started to settle down. I remember sleeping til around 1. (There were bodies of my family members littering the waiting room. Adin (the ever prepared scout) had brought his own sleeping bag. We couldn't turn the lights off in the room so Ryan and Adin slept with their heads under end tables. Getting up and walking around the hospital. I went outside and watched the helicopters take off and land hoping to catch a glimpse or take a picture of the one that would save Amy.

After a while I noticed Jim and Cindy come to the hospital and we went back up for the long haul. (I sat down in the wheelchair that Cameron had used to transport the heavy pillows and was playing with it. To my surprise, the wheelchair took off like Ramon out of a hot engine. I tried to yell Stop but only got out STO! as I had inhaled my gum in my horror. The wheelchair and I made several fast rounds around the waiting room. I could hear it breathing heavily behind me and then I noticed that it had arms and looked like Adin. I remember that same event happening to Caleb later on but he took it better than I and smiled nonchalantly at all of us onlookers as it zoomed past. Leah too fell victim to its need for speed)

At one point Var and I walked over the the Hunstman Cancer Center and got locked in. The intercom lady told us to pull the handle. There was no handle on the door. Come to find out later that Adin had done the same thing. At this time I remember walking all over the hospital and seeing different family members on different floors trying to find ways to pass the time. Jenny's friend Axle left the hospital. And then it was about 3:30 or 4 when Mom and Dad came to the hospital , maybe closer to 5. I just remember mom smiling and being so happy. Jenny and I finally went to the hotel. Ryan and Var were already there asleep. Jason called my cell phone around 6:45 and asked if Chelsea was there. I told him I was in the same hotel he was and that Chelsea was at the hospital. He saidI'm sorry, I'll call someone else to disturb.

At 7:14 my phone rang again. I ran into the bathroom to answer it and it was Dad. He said. You better get down here they're taking her off of the list. Tell everyone to come. We quickly got up, not knowing what was going on. We all loaded up in Cam's little car. Cam, Kristele, Morgan, Trista, Var, Me, Jenny, and Ryan and drove to the hospital. We were still somewhat optimistic but concerned as we got off of the elevator and walked down the hall.

The hallway to the waiting room curved as it went along. I remember coming around one corner and seeing Leah. As soon as she saw Ryan, there was a heart wrenching sob that came from her and she ran to him. I remember that we ran to the waiting room. As I turned the corner to me it looked a horrible scene. There were people everywhere just sobbing and crying. Such raw emotion I have never before seen. I saw Ethan and ran to him. He hugged me and said. I can't do it anymore I still wasn't quite sure what was going on. Someone said that her heart had stopped and that she was dying and would be dead soon. To me there was so much noise and confusion around and someone was wailing in the background. I turned around and realized that it was Eli. Grandma Monson was holding him and he was sobbing. I still couldn't understand why they couldn't just stabilize her and then wait for another liver. I hadn't realized that she was actually dying right then. During all of this bedlam. Catalina walked around the waiting room doing her little jig with one leg. Bending over and picking up imaginary things on the ground and pointing to who knows what. I remember asking How will we go on? Ethan pointed to Catalina and said That's how

Then Jim got permission for Eli to go in and then we all got to go and see her. I will never forget walking in that room and seeing Eli and Ainsley standing next to the bed crying with Jim's arms around them. Poor Jim looked so devastated. He was trying to stand in for his brother who couldn't be there. He talked to Rick throughout. We all came in and said our goodbyes to Amy. I remember going in and out of the room. Back and forth not wanting to be there but needing to be at the same time. Rick took turns talking to the kids on the phone. Nathan kind of stood off to one side. Every now and then he would reach down and touch Amy's hand or face. Jim, Adin and Dad gave her a blessing of release. I was just outside the room for the blessing and turned and notice Annie. She was sobbing and we all let her in to say goodbye to Amy. Then seconds later Jarom came and we all made sure he could come in. Somehow I ended up near her head after they took her off of the oxygen. Her breathing was rough and labored but it was there. Mom thanked Heavenly Father for Amy. Sariah put the phone up to Amy's ear and Rick started talking to her. I heard the first few words but decided to move away since this was between the two of them. All of a sudden she just stopped breathing. Mom and I looked at each other in surprise and wondered if that was it. She hung on for a few more minutes, but it was literally after she was done talking to Rick that she died. She gave us all an opportunity to say goodbye.

After that I remember we all went into the waiting room and just sat around in a daze. We talked about some memories. Dad called Aunt Pat. Mom called Aunt Beth. Morgan said We are 11, just like the poem. At one point I hugged Ethan and he said whose going to take care of me now? Amy took care of all of us in different ways and we relied on her to do that. We looked at some pictures of her Ethan had on his phone. Mom bawled over her baby pics and then talked about what her little bird legs must have looked like running to Grandpa and Grandma Waite and Blacker. Then we all got to go back in and say goodbye to her after they had taken all of the tubing out. She was so dreadfully swollen and yellow. Her lips were bleeding and her nose where the feeding tube stitches had been. Chelsea sobbed and told her to come back to us. We all touched her hands and feet, already so cold. Then we left and went back down the fancy waiting room. We proceeded to clean up. Put the furniture back where it was and gather our stuff. I remember feeling odd and proud at the same time that we were concerned about cleaning up after ourselves and making sure the furniture went back to its rightful place. Dad said, Well, that's all we can do. And we all left the hospital. Mom commented on the flowers outside. They had grown so much just in the few short days that she had been there.

At Caleb's we all sat and talked. I went into the living room and Ethan was sitting there. He mentioned that we can't even begin to imagine the glorious being that she is. She is not saddened or lonely. She is already moving on to the next phase. She is greeting people she knows that she never knew in this earth life. She has no earthly cares. Of course she thinks of us and probably misses us but to her it really is just a very short time until we will all be there. Until she can hold her children again. He mentioned a quote by C.S. Lewis. that if we could see her that we would bow down and worship her.

Thursday, Marci, Chelsea, Jenny, Jenna and I got to go get Amy ready. Her swelling had gone down some but she was still quite yellow. Rick held her hand while we talked and combed that infernal horses tail she calls hair. Some of it came off in our hands as we combed and Chelsea started to cry and say that someday this would all be put back on her her head and restored It was very special. Ryan joined in. We had a wonderful time talking and thinking. Her skin was still very soft. Jenny painted her nails. We cut off some of her hair and Jenna divided it into pieces for us all. Her hair was beautiful.

On Friday at the temple I remember waiting in the chapel. Var mentioned that we were all there and that Amy, and the family were on the other side saying the same thing. They are all here in the temple. I remember as we sat down in the endowment room that Jenny went first, then Chelsea and I and I realized that our sister was gone. Amy always took the space between Jenny and Chelsea.

It was just the three of us now. I loved looking over at the men's side and seeing one row filled with my handsome brothers and father and our dear Rick. He was so stalwart. The next row was filled by my own sweet husband and the other brother's in law. The celestial room was very sweet to sit there. Very special as we all hugged and looked at ourselves in the mirrors. What a true blessing that was.

At the funeral I remember as we were saying goodbye just before they closed the casket. Two of Jim's kids were in a corner just sobbing and I realized that they were losing someone they loved in the same way that my children loved Amy. I watched the mortician Quinn as he watched us all say goodbye. As Jarom bent down to kiss Amy, Quinn held back tears and hung his head down. Right before they put the veil on, Nathan reached over and lovingly touched his mother's head for the last time. It was sweet. As the casket closed I just remember a rush of goodbyes to Amy. We wanted to tell her physical self that we loved her one last time.

That 's all I have for now Jenny. I know there are a lot of grammatical and punctuation errors but I wanted to hurry and write it and not stop my brain from remembering.

Mary, March 20

You know that we are all with you and we know there is nothing really we can do but let you know how much our hearts break for you and us as well, but we are also grateful that her test is over, she fought the fight and darn well too. I hope you have the wonderful peace that the spirit will bring to you. Also know i have two bedrooms available if necessary and I hate to throw this out to you but there are two plots next to mama and baby david, they are not mine mama and daddy bought then. You know our hearts hurt, but I can see her running and laughing with her family She is free. Love mary

Paul, March 20

Ruth and Laron, both Lynn and I are so sorry to hear of Amy. Beth called us early this morning and told us about her passing. We know that we can't say or do anything that will remove your sadness or your worries for Amy's family in the future. We take a little comfort from the feelings that Dad and Mom were present at Amy's side. But we also take comfort from our belief in the eternal family unit. We know that her husband and her children will have many adjustments and lonely times in the future. But the inevitability of her passing with the deterioration of her body must give some comfort that her suffering has now been replaced by peace, calmness and joy.

Our thoughts are with you. Love, Paul and Lynn

Gary, March 20

Laron, I am getting to where I dread the early morning phone calls. So sorry to hear about Amy. Our love and prayers are with you, Ruth and family. Will not call you for a few days.

Gary and Linda

Lynn, March 21

Yes, we are glad she is one her way and can now run through the breeze with that beautiful hair trailing behind her. You now have a beautiful angel smiling down on you.

Ruth, I do know that the last function that a person loses is hearing. Even though a person is in a deep coma, she can hear everything that is going on around her. So, Amy was able to hear everyone and knew of all the love you had for her. Even though not being able to move, she could hear Rick and her children - those tears were real.

We love you very very much and want you to know that Amy has taught us all about bravery and hope. I feel that I know that little red haired girl I knew so long ago.

Love, Lynn

Mark, March 21

I'm so sorry that you had to all go through this.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you always.

Love,

Mark, Michelle and Family

John, March 21

Dear Ruth and Laron

Words cannot say what sadness is in my heart for what you and Laron have had to go through. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We know from experience what it is like to lose loved ones. Our David gave us a taste. Then Mary's sister who left 3 little ones and then Mary's other sister who left grown up children, but those children still miss their mom. Parent's are not supposed to bury their children, its the other way around. We don't know why these things happen. Maybe someday Heavenly Father will let us know. But now we have to move on and have faith. I know deep down in my heart that you will be able to hug your Amy again. I am looking forward to be able to give my son, David a hug and a kiss someday. That just makes it more important for me to be a better person and do the things that I know will let me see Mom and Dad again. I really believe that Mom and Dads love for their grandchildren is strong enough that they welcomed Amy home again with a smile and a hug and a kiss and a twinkle in their eyes. She does not have to suffer anymore. She is free from her pain filled body. Thanks to you and Laron for being such great people and an example to me as I was growing up. Mary and I are praying for your family during these tough times. God bless and remember that I love you.

With Love
John

Lois, March 21

I called Aaron to tell him about Amy. I tried finding Jim's and Herb's numbers, but Jim's was disconnected and couldn't find Herb's name anywhere. I was looking on Dex. Anyway, I asked Aaron to notify all of the Browns. He said he lost his son-in-law about two years ago and sends his sympathy. He appreciated the call. He said all was fine in Wyoming except the weather. His beef are calving in the snow he said. Such is spring. Thanks to Jenny and Adin for letting us know about Amy's fund. Am waiting quietly to hear further messages. Love and good night to all. Lois (I am trying to type this with a big bandage on my little finger. I told Beth yesterday about cutting my finger bad. It looks ok today, but I keep hitting the caps and shift key and I have to backspace to make corrections. I shouldn't make corrections -- I just can't type. Woops! what did I do now?)

Richard March 22

Dearest Family,

We're praying and thinking about all of you. I don't know what to say except we also feel the loss of Amy. All of us have talked and remembered events and outings that bring memories of Amy and her smiling face. She will be missed. We know that Grandpa and Grandpa Waite were waiting to welcome Amy.

Some of us will be able to come to the funeral. We love you all so much.

Love Richard.

Mary, March 22

Dearest ruth and laron and all: I have no idea what you have been thru, Bryce was hard enough, so can't imagine. Sara and I will be coming down Sat. morning, but I wanted to let you know that I have made a small little white quilt to wrap her little feet in. This is something I wanted to do and hope you won't be offended, if you are let me know, you won't hurt my feelings at all. We'll try and get there by ten at least, she's not bringing her kids so we won't add to the confusion, which I'm sure will be great. May the good lord bless you all and you will do fine with whatever comes. Love, Mary

Ruth, March 22

Dear Family, Since Amy's passing on Sunday, we have been understandably busy and unorganized, but maybe have things roughly together enough to pass on some information.

The funeral will be Saturday at 11:00 at the Cedar Fort chapel, the church building right in the center of town on the main road. You can't miss it. Cedar Fort is about seventeen miles west of Lehi. There will be a viewing of sorts from 10:00 to 10:45. Rick is at the mortuary as we speak, and will make the decision as to whether or not have an open casket. This ordeal was very difficult on Amy, with lots of swelling, etc., and he is going to make that judgment as to what she would want. Amy had been very sensitive as to how she has looked for months.

There will be a viewing Friday from 6:00 until 8:00 at the Wing Mortuary on Main St. in Lehi. I am currently working on Amy's temple clothes. Her sisters and I are going to do Amy's hair, which will be a job, as it was so curly that it was difficult to comb out even in the best of times. We will dress her as well, if the mortuary allows it.

We are conscious of people's schedules and are certainly understanding as to whether or not some might be able to attend. We just want to let everybody know. If we have learned any lesson from this extremely difficult time, is that it's no fun burying a child. We were blessed with many miracles during the entire time, one of the biggest being that all of her ten siblings were there to assist her through this momentous step. They were bricks in helping Laron and I get through it.

Rick asked me to do the life sketch, so wish me luck as I try to make Amy proud and not mess up too badly. Love to all!

Maybe somebody else has sent this information, but wasn't sure, so will sent it anyway.

Love, Ruth

Mariah, March 22

Hello Flammy-

Can you do me a favor? Can someone PLEASE record Janie singing 'You are my shunshine'? I miss that little stinker.

Yesterday, after talking on the phone with dad and mom about Aunt Amy, I was sad for about an hour afterwards. Sad that she is no longer with us, sad for her children and Uncle Rick, and very very sad that I wouldn't be at the funeral to see everyone gathered and to gain closure from the whole thing. I had been praying for her all week, praying that Heavenly Father would bless her and her family with any and all miracles that he could see fit to bestow upon them. Each time I felt re-assured that all would be well, but I didn't know what that meant. Sunday night, I prayed for her and wondered if my prayers were even needed anymore - so many things could have transpired since the last time I had been able to hear any news. It was an odd feeling and I just wondered what had happened since I had last received an update.

When I was called to the office Monday morning I was pretty sure I knew what I would hear. Anyway, I haven't had much time to think about it all since yesterday morning, but it crosses my mind and I know I don't need to worry. Dad's family especially has always had a way of knowing how to pull together and give support after events like this, and I can picture it all happening at Uncle Caleb's house: people sharing memories, and then funny stories, and then maybe jokes and laughing, and then discussing what needs to be done next, and finally retiring to bed at an hour much later than usual, but feeling better about things none the less. I so wish I could have been there. Tell the Shumway kids I'm thinking of them. And give Uncle Ethan a hug from me- it was so wonderful to be able to talk to him right before going into the MTC.

Change of topic: Japan. We don't know what is going to happen with all of us who have been called to the missions that have currently transferred all their missionaries to other areas. It's interesting to note, though, that currently there are more missionaries in the MTC that are Japan-bound than there ever have been before. Now we know why. One of my teachers said that many prophesies have been made about Japan. One of them, she thought was by Pres. Eyring, was that Japan will one day be a/the highest baptizing country. Unfortunately, no one ever hoped that events like the past ones would lead to the fulfillment of that prophesy, but those of us who have been called there are all praying that they will be much more receptive to the gospel now. It's sort of odd to think about how much I think about and pray for those people that I haven't even met. And it's also strange to think that the Tokyo that most of those people know and remember, is a place I will never see. I will never see Tokyo the way most people know and love it.

I hope this week goes well for you all. I love learning Japanese. My companion is better than I could have ever asked for. The MTC food still never settles quite right, but I'm doing spectacular.

CAM: Thank you SO much for the Japanese Hymn book you gave me for Christmas. I use it every day here. Good luck with that new companion. It cracks me up to think of the two of you walking around surrounded by a bunch of short little Mexicans.

Love you all.

-Waite Shimai

PS- My class is at the top of 5 flights of stairs. We think we climb an average of 1,500 stairs each day. Not counting the ones to our bedrooms...

Michelle, March 23

Laron and Ruth, and in particular each of Amy's siblings

Words cannot describe the experience you all have gone through with Amy. I know that as acutely as I know anything at this point in life. I know what the machines in the hospital looked like, sounded like, felt like. They were the promise of a better life at the far end but reality brought each light, blink, beep and hiss closer to the opposite end, the end that gave release from this earth life and all its pain and struggle. It is a scene and days and nights blurred together and emotions gone on auto-pilot because there's just no energy to feel or think or do anymore. Except be there. I have stood at the bedsides of two so dearly beloved family members, my Grandma Conn, and my Dad. Although there was indescribable grief in those final moments, there was also gratitude in being there, in being there to hear their final breath, watch, feel, know. I am sorry any of you had to go through such an ordeal. I really am. But I know too that each will grieve in their own way, in their own time, and life, believe it or not, simply marches on, seemingly with little recognition of the life and light gone silent now.

Not long after my Dad passed away last July Laron called our home. He did so for two reasons, and the first was to ask me how I was. I will remember that kindness forever. Such a simple, thoughtful, unselfish act. I would wish to follow such a kind example, but for now, may this note suffice to send the love that Mark and I, and Sarah, Josiah and Austin have and feel for you. The good Lord bless and keep you, each one

Michelle

Rick, March 27

Hi Everyone

I just wanted to thank you all and let you all know how much I love and appreciate each of you. I would have been, and would continue to be, lost without you all. So many worked so hard to make the services for Amy something I know she loved and I'm sure it brought tears to her eyes as well. So many others helped in other ways that are also greatly appreciated. I know your fasting and prayers in behalf of the kids and I have buoyed us up. I know I have been lifted up and carried in this time, as I couldn't have done this physically, mentally, of spiritually on my own. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood and the knowledge of the eternal nature of families, and that both have been exercised on our behalf. I will be continuing to depend on all of you in the coming weeks, months, and years for assistance in support as I try to make Amy proud of us and ensure we can return to her.

I love you all
Rick

Adin, March 28

Waite Shimai, Elder Waite,

Awoke at just after 3:00 am and couldn't sleep, and having not learned my lesson about writing early in the morning, I am writing my thoughts to you both. What a weekend we have had. I've never experienced anything like it ever before. That's two weeks in a row I've been able to say that. To experience is to live. What experiences we've had lately! When my brothers and sisters were little, Mom would write in our Experience Books things we would report about our day. The Lord told Joseph Smith in D&C 122:7 that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good, including having the very jaws of hell gape open the mouth wide after him. If experiencing is to live, we've truly been living!

Friday, we got to Uncle Caleb's and left the kids there, then picked up several brothers and sisters, Mom and Dad, and went to the Mt. Timpanogas Temple. There we met up with everyone else, including Rick and went in for an endowment session. Outside the storm was starting, wet flakes were falling. Inside was the peace that comes only from the temple, the real world. After the session we went through the veil and into the Celestial Room. It is stunning -- grand, expansive, heavenly. As each sibling came in we sat in chairs and couches placed in a somewhat oval shape surrounding a table in the center of the room. I sat by your mother, and noticed that we were all seated in this large circular pattern. We sat quietly for a while, contemplating the experiences of Amy's death. Then Dad and Mom got up and went to each of us as couples to speak to us. I was on the other side of the room from where they began, and just watched them. Their countenances were not sad, but bright and peaceful, and they moved with a hopeful purpose, as though they knew something that we didn't, and were eager to share it with us. When they came to Mom and I, Mom (Grandma) said we are all here, in the temple, even Amy and then she whispered a few more things to us comforting us, and moved on to the next sibling. It transformed me. I looked around and counted. We were indeed all there, and we could feel Amy's presence. Mom and Dad continued spreading the good news. I was reminded of the Savior in 3rd Nephi ministering to the people. Mom and Dad were ministering to us, healing us. Then Dad motioned for us all to gather together. We did so, and then he pointed to the huge mirrors, and as we looked, we could see our family in the eternities, stretching on forever, united by the unbreakable bonds of the temple sealing power. I could imagine Amy there with us. It was one of the most powerful and sacred experiences I have ever been a part of.

After leaving the temple, in a snowstorm, we ate at Applebees, then drove to Caleb's house and got ready to go to Wing Mortuary in Lehi for the Viewing. We arrived early, and went in, and there was my sister in a beautiful casket, with her auburn hair framing her face. She looked lovely. At that moment, I started to feel the sorrow that didn't come in the hospital, and for the next hour or so I was able to mourn Amy's passing, grateful to have Mom and the girls to be with me. Uncle Mark had sent a lifesized tapestry of the Savior with a little child, and there were boquets of flowers. Jacob and Grandpa had put together a slideshow of pictures from Amy's life with background music, including Amy singing with Chelsea and Grandma, and also the Scottish music that Amy loved to hear on the trip with Mariah. It was very well done, and we watched it over and over. Hallie and Sadie were the first to sign the guestbook -- Hallie Ann Waite the Great. Then people started coming, and we were swept into another experience, an outpouring of love and concern. It was wonderful to meet people and see family. I won't go into a complete list, but we were so grateful to see my cousins, aunts and uncles, and ward members and friends from Heyburn, some of whom I hadn't seen in almost thirty years. Wendell Hellewell was there, with his wife, and it was wonderful to talk with them. People were so concerned and loving, and both of you were mentioned and asked about repeatedly. Somehow it was important to me that you were a part of that experience.

We spent the night at Caleb's, and arose the next morning to get ready for the funeral. We arrived in Cedar Fort a little after 9:00 am. The weather was mostly clear. Amy was in the Relief Society room, and we made sure she was comfortable, then went into the chapel to practice songs, and get things ready. Another Viewing at 10:00, and even more loved ones from even farther away. Uncle Rick and Aunt Nita from McCall, my Dad's Aunt Sharon, Uncle Jay Hunt, and their son Bryce (with whom Amy lived for a few months during High School), Grandma's Uncle Jim Brown and his wife, and many, many more. It was so wonderful to see them all, like a family reunion. Finally the time came for the family prayer. We were invited to come to the casket a last time, and then it was closed, and locked. Rick invited all the siblings and Mom and Dad to be with him at that time, then Grandpa Waite offered the family prayer. I was a pallbearer, so we accompanied the casket down the hall, then joined our families entering the chapel.

Grandma gave a life sketch of Amy, then the grandkids sang A Child's Prayer. They did well, loud and beautiful. Rick had asked Chelsea and Ethan to speak, so Chelsea was next, speaking on the Atonement. Then Amy's and Rick's siblings sang Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, accompanied by Hannah (she wasn't mentioned in the program, replacing Amy's friend Shauna Butler). Ethan then spoke. I must interject here that we hope very much to send you a recording of the funeral, so I won't go into too much detail about subject matter. Suffice it to say that both discourses were absolutely masterful. Mom (Eve) later said that no General Authority could have done better. I remember just sitting there thinking I belong to an awesome family (in the old fashioned sense of the word). Almost all the time I am hesitant to give praise to my family, my children, I need to do better. But after hearing Grandma, Chelsea, and Ethan, it just hit me that we are not just among the noble and great ones, we are they. After Ethan, Rick spoke. He said that he hadn't prepared anything, he just spoke about Amy, how they met, and what she was like. It was well done, and I learned things I didn't know about my sister. Sariah gave the closing prayer after the 1st Counselor spoke.

The pallbearers loaded the casket into the hearse and we all drove to the Lehi cemetery. It was clear on the other side of I-15, so it took at least a half hour to get there. Rick dedicated the grave, and then Amy's siblings sang Danny Boy, which Rick had requested. Then we mingled, said farewell to most, and drove all the way back out to Cedar Fort for the family meal at the church. We had a wonderful time talking, getting reacquainted, and making future plans (reunions, etc.). After the meal, we went back to Caleb's and Vera's and collapsed, going through various stages of napping, talking and eating. All our girls but Janie went with A. Amy Smith to their house for the night. By the way, Uncle Ethan and Aunt Georgia announced that they were expecting another baby, but I can't remember when.

Sunday morning your mother and I got the girls from Smiths, and went to Sacrament Mtg. with Uncle Rick and his family. We then went to their home and spent the afternoon with them, talking eating and playing games. Ainsley and Maren actually stayed for all of church, but Sariah didn't feel she could face everyone, so her dad said they would only go to Sac. Mtg. We had a good time. Rick and I had a good talk. He and Grandma have spoken much over the past few weeks about his children and the problems they have and what can be done about them. He has a plan for improvement and Grandma says it is a good one. We talked till about 5:00 then drove home and got here just after 8:00 pm.

Mariah, and Camden, we love you. Remember who you are, a son and daughter of God, the noble and great ones. Walk a little taller, and be a little more cognizant of your divine nature and destiny. Be obedient and work hard.

All is well,
Pa

p.s. The day which we fear as our last, is but the birthday of eternity.

p.p.s. So much of what is great has sprung from the closeness of family ties. Sir James M. Barrie